tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post2584600434574846234..comments2023-08-21T10:21:27.413+01:00Comments on Dew drop dreams through the looking glass: '... an institute you can't disparage'*DewdropDreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458048793584270994noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-45175585187337279412009-05-18T09:21:00.000+01:002009-05-18T09:21:00.000+01:00Diamonds came about thanks to gerat world of adver...Diamonds came about thanks to gerat world of advertising. After the WWII (as far as I recall it), since there was a financial crisis on, people weren't really buying jewellery. To counter that De Beers came up with an aggressive marketing campaign which aimed at the woman who had just got engaged and wanted a symbol for that but nothing too expensive. <br /><br />They advertised and made a diamond engagement ring practically mandatory get married.This was a good strategy since a diamond ring came available for all pockets and yuet showed the woman that her man was willing to invest some money for her and show he loved her despite the financial crisis. It has now become a part of the great American tradition.SMMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04322627347633569930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-30026583926541609732009-05-12T12:12:00.000+01:002009-05-12T12:12:00.000+01:00lovely post!
I do want to point out though... mar...lovely post!<br /><br />I do want to point out though... marriage is definitely more convinientfor the male of the species.<br /><br />and that's not because of how "it should be" but ultimately how it is.<br /><br />When u say marriage is about two people coming together, that's what u and I think, and will make our marriage be that way, but that ain't the norm. A lot of women the world over end up losing, not only their inheritence but also their independence and individuality.<br /><br />So that way when someone critixizes marriage as non -feministic, its more out of experience and how it has turned out for millions of women. Equal marriages, are still but rare.chandnihttp://chandni.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-42605301600178548362009-05-11T22:08:00.000+01:002009-05-11T22:08:00.000+01:00correction- it went *my name- mom's name- dad's na...correction- it went *my name- mom's name- dad's name- surname*Pituhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02438422220019928853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-71245126110855421122009-05-11T22:06:00.000+01:002009-05-11T22:06:00.000+01:00Wonderfully written! I am a feminist and I never c...Wonderfully written! I am a feminist and I never changed my name, refused to hyphenate it as well, don't wear a mangalsutra/wedding ring and would sooner jump off a skyscraper than do Karvachauth *vomit* YUCK!!!!!!!<br /><br />I do love cooking, interior decor, gardening and a host of other so-called 'wifely domains'. If anyone thinks I am not a feminist because of these things, they clearly don't know what feminism is about.<br /><br />To me, it's about living life on your own terms. No more, no less. And not considering yourself a shadow of ANYONE- not your dad, not your husband and not your son.<br /><br />One of my proudest moments was when I got my mom's name engraved on my gold medal from Bombay Univ- so it went *My first name- Dad's name- Mom's name- Surname*. My mom almost burst into tears but it was obvious to me :-)<br /><br />But I do recommend marriage, it's awesome. Especially if you're married to a man who is a feminist-but-doesn't-call-himself-one. I could never live with an MCP.Pituhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02438422220019928853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-65710129433667334272009-05-09T10:58:00.000+01:002009-05-09T10:58:00.000+01:00it was inevitable. the two most debated notions cl...it was inevitable. the two most debated notions clashing against one another. unfortunately though, true feminism has mutated along the way, blown out of proportons by the ignorant. marriage is what you'd make of it. as long as there is a clear understanding between the two, why care about the rituals. please the people, do your bit, and move along! I too fail to see how rituals before the marriage would affect the aftermath, unless one had a flawed, orthodoxed mindset set upon by others in the first place, in which case you'd have to remove that first.Vaudevillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17865806604577925344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-47544361336827006992009-05-08T14:06:00.000+01:002009-05-08T14:06:00.000+01:00Wow, I wouldn't paint myself as a chauvinist, but ...Wow, I wouldn't paint myself as a chauvinist, but this is just trying to solve problems where they don't exist. <br /><br />I don't think getting rid of marriage (or marriage traditions for that matter) changes anything from equality PoV. As you said, marriage is a social contract, and must be decided between the two parties, not by outsiders.<br /><br />Plus, I would have thought that getting rid of domestic abuse, dowry (though not in western cultures) and suchlike was more important than the mostly symbolic bride-giving-away ceremony and name changes.Ameyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10252374817117509287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-31672329975382635122009-05-08T07:00:00.000+01:002009-05-08T07:00:00.000+01:00I'm on the fence about this one. I'm certainly not...I'm on the fence about this one. I'm certainly not against marriage as an institution but do have problems with all the patriarchal rituals and traditions attached to it, right from how a girl has to leave her parental home, change her surname, wear a mangalsutra and sindoor (in Indian tradition) and be addressed as Mrs. If we can have marriages without any of those strings attached, we could say it is not an extension of the patriarchal system.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04279878087585603554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-49002441633913990472009-05-07T19:33:00.000+01:002009-05-07T19:33:00.000+01:00Today, in the name of Feminism, women have been re...Today, in the name of Feminism, women have been relieved of one set of rules and given another. Where is the choice in that?<br /><br />First, if you did not cook or listen to your husband, you were considered bad. Now, you HAVE to not cook to prove you are a feminist.<br /><br />If I tell people that I enjoy cooking, dressing up my home, somehow I cannot be a feminist. Because you know, cooking is traditionally women's work and you should rebel against it, even if you really love to cook. Choice? what choice?<br /><br /><br />My husband will never call himself a feminist. I don't think the idea even crossed his mind. But he always corrects people when they use my name with his surname, does a bulk of our household chores, makes sure all important financial decisions have my input and even lets me drive on a long road trip (somehow, I have always seen that guys never let their wives drive!). And when I point out all this to him, he gives me a look that says - isn't it SUPPOSED to be this way? Now, thats what I call Feminism.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-17858984688560844402009-05-07T18:36:00.000+01:002009-05-07T18:36:00.000+01:00I agree w/ Rayshma. Marriage does not mean end of ...I agree w/ Rayshma. Marriage does not mean end of ndividuality/being staid and uptight.Or inferior to the man.<br /><br />To me feminism is equality and the ability to choose- last name/job or stay at home/who does the chores etc.<br /><br />Although I have to say that men and women have to be lucky to get a spouse that respects, loves, cherishes and adores them.La Vida Locanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-48773987676847019232009-05-07T18:01:00.000+01:002009-05-07T18:01:00.000+01:00long comment warning!
marriage does not mean end...long comment warning! <br /><br />marriage does not mean end of individuality. THAT, is still a choice. but we need to know, understand AND believe that.<br /><br />women like you and me constitute a VERY small percentage of the total population. the majority does not know that they're not inferior. irrespective of their education, their marital status.. anything! and i doubt any of those women would read blogs or feminist articles without thinking of these as corrupting influences.<br /> <br />for them, marriage IS when they are handed over by the father to the husband - for the rest of their lives. IF they have a husband who cares abt their feelings, does not beat them... they think they're "lucky". they do NOT think that they should retain their maiden name, live with their parents if they so wish... and their parents agree with this thought. the parents believe they're being 'modern' by adding the "as long he doesn't physically abuse you" clause - IF at all.<br /><br />i don't think there is anything you and i can do about them... but we can ensure that we raise kids *if we do* who would understand and appreciate their rights. including the right to equality. <br /><br />all this said, i'm married. i don't associate with "feminism"... i have retained my maiden name. and i attribute the fact that i married a nice, sensitive, liberal, straight guy to my smartness - NOT luck! we have our individual opinions... and we respect and love each other all the more for the differences. we now have two sets of parents, and we have learned to use that to our advantage ;)rayshmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09702175811120928581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21672309.post-51432923261640021832009-05-07T04:43:00.000+01:002009-05-07T04:43:00.000+01:00first - Loved the whole post! and of course, being...first - Loved the whole post! and of course, being linked up makes it even more special! :)<br /><br />Next, to the post in itself - <br /><br />"I do not see marriage as a product of patriarchy. True, patriarchy has managed to assert itself in a manner that influences marriage. But marriage in itself was never a concept that was meant to cage women, in my very humble opinion at least." <br /><br />While, this is very true, its not a very popular way to define a marriage!! Very few of us actually believe in this statement and bring about these small instances of equality in our daily lives...<br />The whole thought that a man has a superior hand in marriage and the women is the follower is so ingrained in our mindset, that its difficult to actually change that.<br /><br />How many women have you seen or read about who speak in volumes about "guilt" or "how lucky they are" because they have husbands who make an effort to ease their burdens?<br /><br />Many choose to remain single than be bound by these restrictions that marriage has imposed on us women over the years...<br /><br />And, you are right - you don't "need an alter-ego or a body double to juggle those roles."<br />For, when it comes to actual equality in thought and actions - you will not feel that you are juggling...Pixiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14433156131506216582noreply@blogger.com