Who do you blame for growing up???

When you're growing up, your skin stretches and leaves those stretch marks that you can never really get rid of. Something similar happens to your mind as well... you learn things you can never unlearn. There's no going back.

When you grow up to that level... you have most of the answers you're looking for... which ought to be good enough... but often, it still leaves you with a sense of helplessness and frustration... for although you know exactly what you need to, it doesn't leave you with much scope to let off steam when you need to... specially by passing the buck and blaming someone else for your problems or even just blaming someone for the sheer heck of it.

For every time you want to hold something or someone culpable you have a solidly logical reason why you cannot. Reasons that come in the shape of beliefs, quotes you've read someplace, advice given to you and a whole lot of principles or values you've carefully cultivated to that point... ones which you cannot give up for losing the very essence of what you've become by following those very things. And there isn't anything that survives the onslaught of logic in such cases. Have a look:

"My folks went wrong in quite a few places"

Argument: 'You canot blame your folks for what they did after the age of 25' - Character in Julian Barnes' England, England.

'They could've done worse' - Dr Cox in Scrubs.

"Why can't they bloody well behave themselves!!!"

Argument: You know very well what they're like... it's intheir nature and they're too immature anyway.

"God why can he not understand???!!!!"

Argument: Men!!! It's how they're wired... there's no hope of any of them ever understanding this... it's far too complicated for them.

"I wish my friends would keep in touch regularly"

Argument: Cmon don't fool yourself... you knew very well this was going to happen. Expectations never pay... unless you're having a baby. And sometimes even then they don't.

It's a snafu alright.... Situation Normal All Fd Up. Everyone goes through it... the point is... there's no point ot half the things one tries to find a point for. And you still don't get to blame anyone. At best... a few phrases buzzz around your brain repeatedly:

'What. the. HELL!!!'

'I didn't mean THAT'

'Oh gawd!!!'

'To hell with everything'

'GAH'

'HMPFH'

And a whole lot of times, a very comforting 'Oh Woooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww!!'

The Answer

Asking what enzyme England produces brought forth only one worthy answer.

K says: Dunno that but i guess the 'en'-gland should produce the 'en'-zyme

Expectation doesn't pay... unless you're having a baby.

More English Funnies

What kind of enzyme does England produce????

English Funnies

The Brits seem to have some weird fascination with body parts.... every other pub I know of is named somebody's arms or somebody's head... take a sampler:

The Weavers Arms

The Old King's Head

The Nag's Head

The Drovers Arms

????

Time and relativity

Time is relative... but certainly doesn't seem to be no relative of mine

Priceless quotes

My classmate M was discussing some coursework prep with me and we were entering class where the visiting lecturer was standing.. and here's what she announced rather loudly:

"I've forgotten how to use Powerpoint... it's forgettable.. it's not like something you never forget, like swimming or driving or making out!"

And So I Grew Up

It's a rite of passage. Every girl goes through it at some point. And while I had contemplated that I would have to as well, in the back of my mind it was always somewhere in the future... certainly not a part of my present plans. But I did it today. It's not a big deal they'd say... there are girls who've been indulging for ages now... much younger than I they are too... so I just went along with it. I wasn't sure of my feelings when it was happening... and now that it's over... I still am not sure what I feel or if I shall do it again.... but it's done and it's a part of me becoming womanly.

I got my eyebrows tweezed today for the first time.

Married to work

The realisation that you're a workaholic can dawn upon you in really weird ways.

I was towelling my hair dry and thinking that it was March... and that my former neighbour's baby was due anytime soon... as I made a mental note to ask my mother about it... my mind unconsciously added two words that made the big difference... I was thinking of asking mum about my neighbour's due date... of publication.

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh to Uhhhhhhhh

My friends in my halls of residence dropped in for an impromptu tea session and some conversation. It's late at night and somehow the conversation shifts to telling jokes.

My housemate N starts telling one about a non-verbal spiritual contest between a Tibetian monk and a man from Marrakech. It's that one about how one holds up one finger and the other responds with two.. etc etc... she's explaining it further..."So the monk explains that he held up one finger to indicate one god and his oppnent argued held up two to say..."

"............aaaahhhhh keep doing that, it feels so good"

My other housemate, whose foot I was massaging, interrupted at the wrong moment with that comment and needless to say.. the joke became quite something else then.

Further on, I remembered a similar joke I had read about a non-verbal contest between a sardar and the Pope. I was doing the explanation bit.. "The pope said..."

"I have dandruff in my hair"

That, was my friend J, warning my friend W to quit toying with her hair.

As you can guess, the joke now is that the tibetian monk asked the Marrakech guy to keep doing what he was doing, in a suggestive manner, no less, and the Pope has dandruff.