You... You... KABOOTAR!!!!!

London does have one thing I absolutely detest. Pigeons.

They're everywhere!!! And guess what? They don't behave like normal pigeons. These ones are completely mentally deranged. They don't fly. Their cries are guttural and revolting. They walk everywhere... and, they have no fear of us humans. Countless times have I seen the bloody birds walk right up to some poor sod who is peacefully hanging out at the park enjoying a picnic lunch and harassing him to no end. They simply walk right up to where you are and stand there staring at you! At worst, they look like a bunch of disgusting dirty lecherous old men and make me want to grab them and wring their necks. At best (relatively) they remind of the quintessential fat bitch in class who was popular for no fathomable reason and went about dumping her considerable weight and attitude on everyone else (who might now be an auntie of the first order attending kitty parties and cooing over Ekta Kapoor's crap) and I feel like giving the stupid kabootars one tight slap. gah.

It doesn't help any that my feline tendencies have gone into overdrive since Rayshma's visit.

And with that bacground begins this awesome story. I have had my status message set to "Eh Kabootar! Khauu kya tereko?" feeling encouraged to bring out my weird side a lot more. Don't get me started on the responses I got for that ... suffice to say I don't have the patience to keep explaining things to everyone who asks. Well that made Catty laugh. It also attracted the attention of Catty's husband Vin.

And provided them much entertainment on a long drive back home from Houston apparently. Copy pasting Catty's email, enjoy:

Vin suggests... and i merely document it.Dewdrop should come out with an album. she can call it "eh kabootar"title song: eh kabootar... khau kya tereko
remaining tracks:
a. kabootar aa aa aa... main tujhko kha kha loon
b. gutur gutur... gutur gutur... chadh gaya oopar re... main kabootar ko khaakar hi lautu re...
c. pet kabootar khaana hai.. har ek ko pakadke khaana hai!
d. eh kabootar! zara chalke dikha... zara udna zara... zara mudke dikha hungry hungry si fiza hai... hole hole se pet mein dauda koi chooha haisomething something... yeh dua hai... roko roko yeh kabootar toh udne hi laga hai... u & me... we were meant to be.. tu mera khaana... yeh teri destiny... kabootar singing chuo na chuo na... par mere todo na... ho jaunga main khafa...
(this was added by urs truly.)
e. mere mann ko bhaaya... main kabootar kaat ke khaya (this could also be ur SM. i LOVE it, actually! :D)
you can enlist the assistance of our beloved Galadriel to put the 2 non-songs to a tune. or even sing with you, if required. :D you share copyrights and royalties with vin. :D i shall observe you guys and have fun.

It doesn't end there. Having spent the morning laughing my guts out imagining myself running after random kabootars and gobbling them up, I found Catty online and having thanked her and Vin for such a brainwave, I said we need to work on this thing a bit more. And here's what followed:

Catty: we gave u six songs. u come up with 2.. and we have an album :D
me: content sourcing tum karogi
Catty: lucky kabootar we can take
me: I'll take anything with kabootar in it :D :P
Catty: so u need one song now
me: I have the perfect idea for our album
ek sad song toh hona chahiye na
Reshma: okay...
me: kyon na un bechaare gateway waale shaheed kaboontron ke naam ek gaana likhen?

Remember you saw it here first and that Vin and I hold copyrights on this one. :D

Snarky

as the devil. LOVE it.

Spare some change, please.

I've diagnosed the problem the world has.

It's intolerance.

One faith cannot stand the beliefs of another, one sex cannot tolerate what they think are the shortcomings of the other, one generation cannot tolerate the difference in thinking another generation has, one class cannot tolerate the difference in living standards another has, one country has issues with another's policies, one leader has issues with another's ideologies, one region cannot bring itself to accept the uniqueness of another region ... and it all spirals downward from there.

And slowly, it creeps into the hearts of individuas and to a point where two of them can not stand each other for any combination of the above differences. And it goes further. One will have issues with the fact that he/she thinks/percieves the other is richer/smarter/happier/better placed/luckier/better looking/just any crap that may somehow be compared.

And so it starts. Two neighbours who cannot get along. A couple that splits up because of their apparently irreconcilable differences*. A family feud that begins because of some miscommunication and ends in the family's splitting ways and never speaking to each other again. The classic saas-bahu power-struggle. The classic battle between the sexes. A fight for a seat on the train/bus ... a yelling match at the airport to get a better seat. Outdoing the Joneses/Sharmas/Kulkarnis/Iyers/and every other surname from all 26 states and all 7 continents if you please. A cat-fight for the senior position at work that involves back-biting and underhand tactics. Taking bribes to become richer quicker. Jumping queues and giving bribes to somehow feel you have the upper hand over everyone else standing in line. Domestic violence.

And it goes on to become a power struggle to share resources, to corner the market, to be the first state/country to achieve something. It becomes a blind fury of regionalism, class struggles, political differences, religious differences, communal unrest, a rich Vs the poor struggle and before you know it, entire nations are warring with each other.

So I propound that we do something to stop it becoming a problem that huge. We start at the grass root level. That we start by being the change we want to see**. Let us all remember a certain 'manoos' as being the paragon of intolerance and strive to be different, by:
1] Accepting ourselves firstly, our own shortcomings and best qualities and making use of the latter while trying to overcome the former.
2] Accepting what is better in others and if not lauding them for it, acknowledging that they perhaps deserve something, anything, whatever thing, for being better than us. Which means no dirty tricks to get something that isn't rightfully yours. No jumping queues. No offering bribes. No accepting bribes. Following rules. No doing anything that would add to your shortcomings.
3] Keeping mum when you have nothing nice to say about something/someone. Even if you don't agree with their opinions. Everyone is allowed an opinion and everyone is allowed a healthy debate to exchange ideas. But to try and forcibly change someone's beliefs and opinions is not acceptable. Things like not passing personal comments, not saying snide things meant to hurt someone, not spreading vicious gossip that would be to someone's detriment. Not criticising.

Let's start by being a bit more tolerant of others around us. Changing ourselves is easy. When it's for ourselves and the beneficiaries are us. But just as we do random acts of charity and kindness, can we make things better for all of us, for the world, by sparing some of that change.

It is a very garbled post and my thoughts aren't really clear. I know what I said is perfect only in theory. I know there will still be people who will do their best to undo all the good a bunch of well-meaning good hearted people can accomplish. I will still advocate my views though. Because it's possible to make things different even if in the smallest degree. Pennies add up to big amounts over time. Spare some change, please.

*I am not implying that all couples who split up don't try hard enough. I know of several cases where parting simply was the way it had to be. But I am addressing what seems to be a tredn lately, among people to simply call it quits because they cannot be arsed to sit down, talk, sort their differences and come to a mutual agreement.
** That's probably the one thing I think Gandhi said that made sense. The rest ... I feign ignorance as my excuse for the time being.

Please let the dogs out

There’s another reason why I really need a dog.

Then I could be like John Grogan in Marley and Me and get paid to write about my life.

Scratch that. What I really need is a life.

After all there’s only so much you can blame on the dog.

P.S: What is it with Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson? Lady you really need to try harder if you want to convince people you're a good actress. Drawling sentences isn't doing anything. And Wilson? Fella could you please try to put a little more life into your character? Sure you were trying to be the calm and supportive husband but I could not get beyond thinking you looked cute, acted stupid and were about as much help to the wife as a talking hitching post. Make that a hitching post that talks slooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

A few words to Sanjay Dutt

(Oh yes ineed, I have taken my husband's permission before saying this. In fact, you'll be pleased to know that these are his very ideas that I am communicating to you. Here goes:)

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

P.S: There's a very major reason why you cannot be likened to Obama. He uses a Zune and I'm betting you have like 15 Ipods, rich spoilt brat that you are. Hah!

Imagine Me and You...

They both looked forward to train rides. They afforded them the opportunity to spend a little more time together every day without it being confined to home or putting the onus of deciding what to do or where to go on either of them. Besides, knowing there was an intimately friendly face on the journey somehow made days at work worthwhile. And there was always plenty to talk about... Laughing over silly scenes, methodically dissecting curious characters they came across, playing footsie... And if all that got boring, the window always offered more to amuse them... Even if they were the same sights they saw everyday. And then of course, all those familiar and strange faces they saw everyday...

And so it was that they saw her one morning... It was one of those mornings when they both wanted to keep to themselves... Looking around the compartment seemed more attractive than each other's company. When the young woman came and sat right in front of them they both suddenly found common ground to while away time. Each studied her... The long, curly dark brown hair, perfectly plucked arched eyebrows, alabaster complexion, high cheekbones, well-shaped glossed lips, striking eyes, nose and chin... A face that asked to be looked at long and absorbedly.

The young woman was aware of being watched so intently and her movements were touched with just that bit of consciousness and precision that comes from being aware and wanting to give the watchers something to appreciate and dwell on. She stole glances too of course. The little that these glances revealed was a couple, as young as herself... Just in that phase of having lived with each other enough to warrant the intersecting but still separate circles of being around them. They were quite handsome really. Enough to make her want to watch rather than be watched. She stole another glance...

The wife looked over once more thinking "Maybe if I were not married... Who knows how the three of us might have been placed?" Her husband was now looking away, and the look on his face said he'd moved beyond thinking of the young woman seated across him. "What if...?" the wife once again thought and then shook herself mentally.

Across from her, the young woman was having a think all her own. "Such a pity she's taken... "

Credit where credit is due: This was inspired by something Silvara wrote. I do realise that it is rather close to what she described but it's still a work of fiction that I refined upon. Silvara, I apologise in advance if this offends you in anyway.

It's Complimentary!

Yeah it comes with the rest of the stuff up here. This post I mean. Anyhoo...
I'm in the mood for recounting the things people have said which have made it all worth it, compliments that I shall remember and treasure forever:

1] "You know Dewdrop, I think when my daughter grows up she's going to be just like you!" (Former colleague who, although being more of the age of an elder brother, took to being a sort of father figure for me. He still emails me and has never forgotten to wish me on my birthday or on Daughters' Day.)

2] "You should write" (Two friends on two separate occasions.)

3] "She is the sort... she's capable on being in that situation of having to choose between two jobs." (Friends, here. Alas! you guys, spoke a bit soon I think ... that hasn't happened to me again.)

4] "You really know where you're going, you know your mind. I admire that!" (An uncle, upon explaining why television wasn't the medium for me. Also at least two other friends, on other occasions.)

5] "I don't expect someone of your level to be able to tune in like that and figure that out, but you do. I'm impressed!" (Violin tutor)

6] "She's a resourceful girl." (Former Math and Science teacher from high-school, when I endeavoured to hoist the huge globe we had used in class onto a tall cupboard without bothering with a chair but merely managing by standing on tip-toe.)

7] "She's self-motivated." (Class teacher for two years of high school telling my dad, all because I produced a hand-made pen stand for the class table at a PTA meeting.)

8] "She was so delicate! Just like a flower ... she'd wither if you touched her. And now look at her!" (Primary school teacher who made me who I am, speaking to a colleague when I went back to meet her and showed her a copy of the magazine I was working at then. This has definitely been the high point of my life.)

9] "I totally trust your taste in books!" (Dear friend, M.)

10] "You haven't changed a bit!" (Gem on every single occasion of meeting in the last seven years, squishing in that one sentence the joy of having a steady friendship that has seen changes in everything else.)

11] "I'm proud of u. for managing to be urself. consistently. and unpredictably." (Catty)

12] "I shall appreciate books more now! and will tell this to everyone who reads! ppl i know, of course! BIG hug... and i'm proud of u, dear! :P" (Catty again, when I explained to her the rigours of a book production job.)

13] "Those photos you took are really good!" (LB on a series of sunset photos I had shot as a first time photography attempt.)

14] "You know, sometimes that strong, independent woman side of you can scare people." (D. Regarded so because I hadn't thought of myself in those terms for a while.)

15] "Your mother and my wife should both learn how to make rajma from you." (Cousin, after I had invited him over for dinner when he was visiting London.)

So what's the nicest compliment that you have been given?

At Random

I've neglected doing Galariel's tag for the longest time, here it is now:

1. The person I am at home, with family is very different from the person I am away from home with friends and random people. I still manage to remain rather consistent.
2. It's rare for me to listen to music or read while I'm travelling... I spend that time letting my mind drift wherever it wants to.
3. I adore wooden flooring... I think it's the height of luxury.
4. Despite what some people may think, I'm rather active. It's true I sleep a lot but that's to make up for my activeness when I'm awake. I'm always upto something... and most of it is brainwork. And I still don't think I make full use of my potential. Oh and mostly my actvities are solitary ... I welcome company in very few instances.
5. Unlike most women, I cannot shop during sales where stuff is simply hung on racks in no particular order. I find it really tiring to have to sift through all that. I'd rather buy something I realy liked at full prce, at my leisure when the store isn't stampeded by hysterical shoppers.
6. I'm a little cat in quite a lot of my personality traits... but I thoroughly enjoy soaking up the rain and dancing about in it. And love the smell of rain-dampened earth.

I wish

I could hear these words right now:

"I'm proud of you, dear"

What flavour is your visa, again?

Hanging out with friends yesterday, were discussing visa procedures, regulations, types... yada yada yada... as immigrants are bound to do.
"Isn't that Tier 2?"
"No it's Tier 1"
"Are we discussing wedding cakes?" asked one of the natives in the bunch.