Dear Humanity in General

Shut the eff up a minute, lend me your sodding ears so I can scream this out so loud that it gets imprinted on your bleeding brains and you never ever ever forget it.

Do NOT:

• Be so ungracious as to arrange to meet where is convenient for you to get home from. Think of the other people you're meeting and how they will manage once night has set in, home is far away and brains have been addled by alcohol.
• Ask for classified information/gossip about a friend of the person you are asking. In the least, it isn't tactful at all and makes you look stupid and unreliable. At its worst, you will be blocked from having further contact, the friend shall be warned of your poking around affairs that are not you concern and your name shall be slimed forevermore thereupon.
• Be a pain-in-the-ass house guest. You're being done a favour by your host by being provided space, so behave like it. Don't give unsolicited advice. Don't get too friendly with friends/relatives of your host. Don't dig for gossip about your host. And most importantly, lift a bloody finger around the house to help. Even if there is help available. Offer to make tea if you cannot cook. Put your clothes away and make your bed. ASK before using something that isn't yours. And if you have kids, don't assume the hosts kids will love to share their toys... you're only visiting, don't get too comfortable.
• Repeatedly ask to be picked up when visiting someone. Even the most direction-challenged person can seek help if they have an address ready. And there are maps available. Make an effort to remember routes when visiting. 'I'm so helpless' is bloody lame after two times.
• Repeatedly ask for info you've already been given. My blog url for instance. Check your chat records if you're that eager to read it again. On the other hand, if it really did matter that much, you'd remember it, or bookmark it.
• Hang all over someone who has a partner. PDAs are for partners and family. I don't give two hoots if you're a best friend/rakhi sister/good friend/drunk... keep some distance. Specially if you haven't had a chance to/made an effort to befriend said partner and make them feel included/comfortable. Just because you're friends does not mean you treat the friend like private property. They are definitely not YOUR property so have enough sense to know where to draw the line. Or it will be drawn for you.
• Comment on the apparance/career choice/dressing sense/ANYthing of someone you're only acquainted with. Commenting is not a luxury available to acquaintances.
• Butt in on conversations that do not involve you. Know where to draw the line.
• Dominate conversations/gatherings. 'That's just how I am' is not an excuse.
• Take this missive lightly.