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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Of Anticipation and Disappointment

Let's get disappointment outta the way first. I watched Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. After months of waiting for it to release and practically jumping up and down in my seat at the theatre, squealing fit to give competiton to a pig, what do I get? A big fat ZERO. Truly, that's what the movie is.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

I thought the casting was inspired, Uma Thurman as Medusa (seriously, how beautiful is she with those lips and those eyes ... eyes like twin blue inviting pools that you could drown in ... lest you were actually facing Medusa in which case darling, Pathar Ke Sanam be your fate), Pierce Brosnan as Chiron (how did they manage to do the horse-stamping-its-hooves thing while he stood steady and talked to Percy?!), the heroes of the books, Percy, Annabeth and Grover were cast well and did a fairly good job. Although I still cannot get over Annabeth having dark hair. She's BLONDE for godssake!!! Having said that, our Annabeth is a mighty good looking young heroine with flashing eyes and enough intrigue. Athena wasn;t that great a pick though ... I'd have preferred Monica Belluci as Athena. The woman would have been perfect for the role with that smouldering sizzling svelte thing she has going on. And WHY does Percy's mum look so old and wrinkly?!

Also, it was a bit of a waste having all these people in there considering they only got about a couple minutes airtime and maximum five lines each. What the hell?!

But most importantly, Chris Columbus,

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING CHANGING THE PLOT LIKE THAT?!

Gods do NOT show themselves to mortals. Certainly not in their 20 feet tall godly forms. WHY would Zeus and Poseidon meet on the top of the bloody Empire State Building when Olympus is right above them in all its splendour?! WHY?! It's not like you had to spend extra money to create that set since you used it later so why exactly would two gods meet on a manky looking rooftop?!

And speaking of the gods, Percy does not know he is Poseidon's son till he wins in Capture the flag against CLARISSE, the child of Ares. Whom you did away with TOTALLY. As did you with all that underplay between Luke and Annabeth. And why oh why did you have to get Percy and her all gooey-eyed in the FIRST movie.

All that aside, PEARLS?! The plot is about three demi-gods on a quest to find PEARLS to escape from the underworld where they have gone to convince Hades of Percy's innocence in the theft of the Lightning Bolt?! Do you realise how wrong that is?! That was supposed to be the ruddy twist in the tale. They were supposed to be recovering the Bolt and discovering who had set them up. Hunting PEARLS?! BAH. And where did you dream up that rubbish about Percy's mom escaping with them from the Underworld?! Just HOW was she supposed to add anything to the story by being there instead of Grover?! She can't make nifty moves like Grover and Camp-half blood and Olympus are restricted access areas to her. What did you think changing places between her and Grover would do?! For the love of the gods!

Another thing, what's this rubbish about Chiron and Percy getting all gooey-eyed and this business about being favourite student, eh?! The gods are not allowed to favour demi-gods. Ever. Did you not read the books?! Were you not listening when the script was being read to you?! Did you not think it worth your while to THINK about what you were doing?!

It was a rather fast paced movie, not at all what was required. The whole Lotus Casino sequence and that bit where Grover zaps the Hydra using Medusa's head were the only saving graces.

Why oh why did you spoil such a beutiful thing? Why oh why?!

Sorry about all the spoilers but it isn't worth going to the theatre for this rubbish. Wait till the DVD comes out and then too only watch it just because. Some books really do not deserve being messed around with, I wish someone had seen this was one of them. Sigh.

My disappointment aside, it's been a month of waiting. It'll continue for a while. Among the things I await are the Stereophonics concert(s) happening next month ... weeks away, eeekkk!!! And the release of The Blonde Bombshell by Tom Holt, The Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan and Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman.

And summer.

16 comments:

  1. :) some books do make awful movies..soo true..

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  2. Watched it just today. Doesn't the story feel a bit rushed?

    I agree, I didn't like casting of Percy's mom either. And I don't think the camp and nature of various demigods came through in the movie. It's like these 3 main campers and the rest are just playing in the background. I wonder how they are going to handle Thalia, Clarissa and Luke-Annabeth relationship if the next movies come out.

    Worth a matinee show I guess. It was funny/interesting in bits. But definitely expected more from the director of Sorcerer's Stone.

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  3. Well one good thing did come of it. I read this review and now I want to read the book.

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  4. Your review makes me think I should place the book (books?) on my to-read list.

    P.S. Have you changed something in the way comments can be made? Google id dena pad raha hai ...

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  5. why this quest for IDing???
    your blog is becoming the security check line at the airport now!!! 4th attempt this is to comment. how dedicated am i!?

    waise, i forgot what i had to say :(

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  6. well i haven't watch the film yet but i heard that the books are really better :/

    (P.S. if you'll reply to this comment..pls. put it in my blog's comment box so that i can update my comments :D)

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  7. lol @ raysh.

    Damn, woman, you always end up putting my comments (or posts) across much better!

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  8. alice: arre what to do?! frustrating this is, no? to top it, i don't know if it's ME having the problem, or this woman is trying to create filters! :D

    how've you been?! long time... :D

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  9. And summer.

    Ha! Optimist.

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  10. Saya: Some books do make awful movies, yes. But in this case it was a simple case of shoddy work. Gah.

    Amey: It does! :( They butchered it right and proper. It;s about Greek mythology and they ignore everything except three people. I'm dreading the other parts now. It had its moments but honestly, they weren't enough to salvage the rest of it.

    The Bride: Clouds and silver linings :) The books are very good, you're better off getting them than watching the movie. When you're getting two books for the price of a ticket, there's no competition.

    Alice: Oh you should read them!! Much fun!! And yes I did change the comment settings, sorry. I got tired of all the anon spam floating around.

    Catty: Arre har koi aake aaltu faaltu ke ads de jaa raha tha comments mein. Kaiko? Quoting Aamir Khan (with modification) "Mera blog hai blog koi dharamshala nahi hai!" Beeeeggg hug for you for being so very dedicated :D You the best!

    Ayu: Well, yes they are.

    ??!: Guilty as charged! But. I'm also determined enough to hunt summer down in another place if required :D

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  11. dharamshala is being quite pretty, u know?! :D

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  12. Hope they make it into a series, the books deserve that.

    BTW, you *do* know Amir Khan meant exactly the opposite of what he sang, right?

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  13. Catty: Meaning what? Amir Khan's dil and my blog are not pretty? :D

    Amey: Is there the option for them to start from scratch? If not, allow me to quite lord Dionysus, "What fresh hell is this?"

    Aamir Khan may have meant the opposite but did he bother putting up security checkposts?

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  14. Aamir didn't. By that time his comment-space was irrevocable invaded ;)

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  15. aamir's dil reminds me of "dum duma dum" and MD in that pink atrocity of an outfit!

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  16. Amey: Which is why I took a lesson and put up a virtual wall of China here ;)

    Catty: MD can carry anything off! Even the pink atrocity! Hail MD!!! :D

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