Put-downable

It occurred to me that over the years I'd heard some real gems in the way of put-downs. Some of them are downright mean but they make me laugh when I think of them and let's face it, mean-funny is something all of us have known, at some point or other.

"Ivna mukha nodidre moor dina oota seralla" (He has a face that would make you lose your appetite for three days). Courtesy a childhood friend who had started junior college then, commenting about all those road romeos found leering at girls outside her women only college.

"Yaar iva hanigi maarava?" (Who's this guy? Looks like one of those comb-sellers on the street). This one is courtesy the family. Ma happened to use it the first time she saw Hrithik Roshan and elicited a 'That's HRITHIK ROSHAN ma!' reaction from a very scandalised brother. She continued to refer to him as 'Rutvik' for a while ... I am pretty sure she did that just to annoy us :P

"Vadak tambigi" (literally 'broken tumbler'). Another family contribution. Most often used to refer to Sunil Shetty by one of my uncles.

"Humara standard itna low nahi hai ki hum tumko bhav dega". The younger sister of a friend, when some random guy tried to chat her up.

"Would you date a dinosaur then if you were mentally compatible?". The brother to some guy who'd been droning on and on and on about mental compatibility. You may be sure 'mental compatibility' is one term we never use in any relationship talk :P

"Why?" One of my cousins. A rather good looking girl, she frequently had guys approach her and do the "I know of you through so and so blah blah blah blah blah blah ... can we be friends/will you be friends with me?" routine. Unluckily for them they never had an answer to her rather simple and (fairly innocent) query.

Edited to add:

"Chatri nan magane!" Okay I don't really know the meaning of this one (help? someone? translate pliss?) and I'm not entirely sure but it might be offensive. This one cracks me up BIG TIME thanks to the scene that I associate with it, stuck in my mind indelibly.

I must have been in third standard. In my class were two kids. Rakesh and Shilpa. Shilpa was a chubby cheeked, somewhat short, usually calm and collected little girl. Rakesh was the quintessential school-boy imp ... always upto mischief, annoying other people. Rakesh and Shilpa had the misfortune of being seated next to each other that year. They seemed to get on okay most days, a skirmish here and there did nothing to make the teacher separate them.

Shilpa used to carry an umbrella to school rather religiously. And she'd tuck it in that space below the desk where we used to keep our schoolbags. One fine day, Rakesh was having a case of itchy hands more than usual and simply could not stop fiddling. After he had attempted to manhandle Shilpa's umbrella for the umpteenth time, she really lost it and yanking it out of its place brandished it over his head and scolded "Chatri nan magane!"

The normally rambunctious Rakesh was reduced to shocked disbelief and his face grew really small. To this day, "chatri nan magane" evokes that face of his, as Shilpa is brandishing her umbrella and reduces me to giggles. What was I doing all this time? Oh I was sat at a distance wathing the tableau ... evidently I was observant AND have good memory.