Chewing it over

Eve must have had a moment or two of hesitation and indecision before she bit into the apple. A moment or two when she weighed her options, thought about what it might be like after ... hell, thought about what it tasted like and if she would like it.

I currently feel like Eve must have, with all this Twilight frenzy around. And which smart-ass decided to put an apple on the cover, I'd like to ask.

It's sort of been on my radar for a bit, it isn't really something one can ignore, what with all the posters popping up in your face as you amble in the city and enough people on buses and trains reading copies of the blighted books.

However, thus far I have resisted. I read Stephen King lampoon the writing* and what other bits I read about the book and the movie said it had an annoying whiny heroine and the acting was bad. I like my heroines to be feisty and spunky and my movies to be convincing. So that's pretty much ruled it out for me so far.

But, I find that I'm slowly being drawn to the edge. I've read enough moxed reviews by now to confuse me into this "To bite or not to bite" state. Pitu says she liked the movie. Twisted DNA's opinion intrigued me even as I gave in to hilarity. The Bride weighs its pros and cons and I do think she makes a fair point. Agent Green Glass isn't very impressed and Metrostudent, on the other hand, is recovering from a forced outing to view the new movie and doesn't feel so kindly towards it:

Verdict – Bella gets herself a new fella (YAWN – AGAIN). He’s not a drug-seller. The Title of ‘New Moon’ is yeller. Please hide this film somewhere where we can’t see it – like a coal cellar.

Sheer brilliance that, I say!

Marina Hyde, one of my favourite Guardian columnists, warns that resistance is futile. The commenters are pretty evenly divided between loving it and hating it. Oh and there's enough feminist musing in there.

"I've seen so many people, usually feminists, say the books are anti-female and promote weakness in woman and in my opinion, that is the total opposite of what they do. Bella is a very strong character, who in the end, saves everyone, including Edward. Most girls Bella's age feel insecure about themselves, but Edward never tries to make her feel that way, he thinks she is WAY too good for him. I've never been able to figure out why people hate twilight so much. You don't have to like it, but what's wrong with a love story, that also promotes abstinence before marriage and family unity. As a mother, I love it." is the response of one woman.

A few comments down someone else says "I do think the whole thing is interesting, but I lack the heart and soul of twelve year old girl." and continues with "I'd like to think the attraction was looking at boys' naked bellies, but sadly I really think it's because these days teenage girls have turned into World of Warcraft playing nerds. I don't really think encouraging abstinence among teenagers is such a good thing. There's nothing worse than awkward ageing virgins in their 20s, or God forbid, in their 30s."

There is also all this talk of Taylor Lautner's abs ("... the main attraction of the new film is Taylor Lautner's amazing abs" ) and Robert Pattison's dishy looks("I'm a 21 year old heterosexual male and I can appreciate that Robert Pattinson is indeed a very pretty fellow") (and I can see the google searches landing people on this page now ... you eye-candy hungry people, you!). Now, I don't give two hoots about Taylor Lautner's abs or Robertson whatsisname (On one of those days when my tongue was more scathing than usual, I was heard to remark 'Bite me?! I'd ask to see a dentist's certificate before I let him so much as smile at me' ... in all fairness, I just wanted to use that line :P) ... but it's making me wonder if I should. I mean, the guy looks like a boy-band member what wit his laal lipstick and too much foundation and last time I checked it was babyface wtchoocallim (Nick Carter, yeah I know his name, rite of passge and all that jazz) ... he was wearing pink lipstick (although it might've been enhanced with photoshop) point being ... I am actually paying attention to teenage sucker phase thingy.

Hell, I even checked out the Guardian's photo-narrative on the new faces in the new movie and the comments about people forgetting red-eye reduction functions on new cameras and something about "another of those blighters" cracked me up but it told me the movie has Dakota Fanning, who, other than having grown up into one helluva cute teenager, shares her name with one of my favourite songs.

I'm not exactly going about kissing posters of Robert Pattison on the underground ... but I'm very nearly sucked into this whirlpool of silliness.


Forget Twilight, place your bets. Will I bite? Will I get bitten? Fate, is it written?



*not that I have a very good opinion of Stephen King and not that his opinion matters much ... be as it may that he's considered a good writer, I find his constant allusion to his work and his belief in his greatness rather tiresome. I prefer authors who possess a modicum of humility.