Female, 24, seeks Romance*

Lately, when anybody asks me 'Watched any movies?', I blank out. It might be due to the fact that when someone puts me on the spot I draw a blank anyway, but in this case it is more to do with the fact that none of the movies I watch seem to be the sort that stay with you hours after the credits have rolled. It's also true that I do not watch a lot of movies as such. I firmly believe in selective absorption of popular culture. And after one particularly traumatic incident (I don't remember what it was), I decided I was going to be very very choosy about which movie I watch, given how I was devoting 2 hours of my life to it when I could be making better use of those precious hours.

So, it's mostly been a case of trying to watch P.S. I love you/Bride wars/Marley and Me/random supposedly good flick and turning it off after a few minutes because I cannot bloody stand the nincompoopery I am being subjected to. I really should learn to apply the Bechdel test before I start a movie, as recommended by a reader when I cribbed earlier about movies.

And then I read this article and had a 'Twing!' moment. I kept reading and my brain was yelling 'She is so bloody right!!!'. The piece basically compares the rom-coms of yore to those of today and draws a conclusion that modern-day rom-coms are essentially misogynistic and dumbed-down versions. In a really bizzarre manner, it appears that movies about women in this supposedly modern era actually portray them in a poorer light than those earlier. Evidently, the heroines of yesteryears were far more advanced, individual, liberated and strong compared to the heroines of today. As the article says

... the women who people today's romantic comedies seem to have three main obsessions ... [shopping, babies and marriage].

And

Now, at a time when 70% of women are in the workforce, career women in romantic comedies are generally either portrayed as incompetent, cruel, or both... [it is] quite insulting that a career woman now is something that is so frowned upon. You see depictions of women who are supposedly at the top of their game, yet they can't walk down a corridor in a white suit without pouring coffee on themselves or walking into a bush. The films are not very subtly saying 'yes, they may be at the top in their jobs, but actually what they really need is a man. In fact, a husband.

And while on one hand there is this pre-feminist portrayal to be worrying about, there is another aspect that is equally worrying. With more and more heroines being portrayed as independent, career-minded, selfish individuals who get 'tamed' by the men involved, the message being sent out is that it's okay to simply expect that one will only get the best without having to put in work, that if something isn't perfect at the start and on the surface then there's no need to dig deeper but simply give it a boot.

As one of the girls Kira Cochrane interviewed post the movie watching, said, "I see marriage as a bit of a negative thing ... You're signing your life away. Very few of our parents are still together, so why would we want to go through all that?"

So while every other rom-com tells the girls of today that they can get away with being selfish and not settle for less than what they expect until marriage happens and all that will change, they are also sending the message across that marriages, nay, even stable relationships are hard to come by and do not last. Is it any surprise then, that the target audience ends up in a 'Why make an effort then?' rut.

It's a rather scary scenario. Specially for parents. It's come to a point where parents are simply thankful to see their children married at all, at whatever age, than simply shacking up with someone or turning out to be gay (no offense to the gay community there).

Coming back to the point though. It's imperative that the whole notion of romance and the role of a heroine are drastically altered from their present day avtars.

It's not just movies and TV shows that are the problem. Even books seems to be going the same way. Chick-lit's taken off in a big way but instead of liberating the modern woman, it has shackled her worse than before. And romance novels, or rather Mills & Boon romances, are not the same as before either. They seem to get raunchier and raunchier with nothing else to bind the pages together except the smut. As my friend D once said "It's not fiction dude, it's fuction!!!"

Now while I tend to avoid romance novels like french beans curry, I did read a few good ones. The most prominent ones in my mind are Georgette Heyers' books. Her heroines really were the sounky, imaginative, spirited creatures that heroines are supposed to be. Not in all her books, but most. I particularly enjoyed Sylvester and Cotillion. And if I were forced to choose an M&B work, it would have to be The Faraway Bride. Describing the journey of an orphaned English girl who marries an Australian visitor when he proposes to her in a fit of anger at his match-maing aunt, the book is more about the heroine's move to Australia and her very successful efforts at acclimatising herself to her new home while slowly building a relationship with this stranger she married than any action between all characters involved ... it's a book that has stayed in my mind for years. It's description of Australia and its characters made it a wholesome read. I often wondered why it was made into a romance novel ... I thought it deserved better than to be clubbed with 'fuction'.

And I truly wish this is what I could find in the movies, TV shows and books of now. A female role model who is spunky, imaginative, creative, smart, intelligent, hard working and just flawed enough to make her human. Someone who does not have outrageous expectations of romance but is happy to go along and play the game, make the best of it and emerge a winner. I wish to find A Heroine.

* No this is not an ad inviting proposals, decent or otherwise.