Of Anticipation and Disappointment

Let's get disappointment outta the way first. I watched Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. After months of waiting for it to release and practically jumping up and down in my seat at the theatre, squealing fit to give competiton to a pig, what do I get? A big fat ZERO. Truly, that's what the movie is.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

I thought the casting was inspired, Uma Thurman as Medusa (seriously, how beautiful is she with those lips and those eyes ... eyes like twin blue inviting pools that you could drown in ... lest you were actually facing Medusa in which case darling, Pathar Ke Sanam be your fate), Pierce Brosnan as Chiron (how did they manage to do the horse-stamping-its-hooves thing while he stood steady and talked to Percy?!), the heroes of the books, Percy, Annabeth and Grover were cast well and did a fairly good job. Although I still cannot get over Annabeth having dark hair. She's BLONDE for godssake!!! Having said that, our Annabeth is a mighty good looking young heroine with flashing eyes and enough intrigue. Athena wasn;t that great a pick though ... I'd have preferred Monica Belluci as Athena. The woman would have been perfect for the role with that smouldering sizzling svelte thing she has going on. And WHY does Percy's mum look so old and wrinkly?!

Also, it was a bit of a waste having all these people in there considering they only got about a couple minutes airtime and maximum five lines each. What the hell?!

But most importantly, Chris Columbus,

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING CHANGING THE PLOT LIKE THAT?!

Gods do NOT show themselves to mortals. Certainly not in their 20 feet tall godly forms. WHY would Zeus and Poseidon meet on the top of the bloody Empire State Building when Olympus is right above them in all its splendour?! WHY?! It's not like you had to spend extra money to create that set since you used it later so why exactly would two gods meet on a manky looking rooftop?!

And speaking of the gods, Percy does not know he is Poseidon's son till he wins in Capture the flag against CLARISSE, the child of Ares. Whom you did away with TOTALLY. As did you with all that underplay between Luke and Annabeth. And why oh why did you have to get Percy and her all gooey-eyed in the FIRST movie.

All that aside, PEARLS?! The plot is about three demi-gods on a quest to find PEARLS to escape from the underworld where they have gone to convince Hades of Percy's innocence in the theft of the Lightning Bolt?! Do you realise how wrong that is?! That was supposed to be the ruddy twist in the tale. They were supposed to be recovering the Bolt and discovering who had set them up. Hunting PEARLS?! BAH. And where did you dream up that rubbish about Percy's mom escaping with them from the Underworld?! Just HOW was she supposed to add anything to the story by being there instead of Grover?! She can't make nifty moves like Grover and Camp-half blood and Olympus are restricted access areas to her. What did you think changing places between her and Grover would do?! For the love of the gods!

Another thing, what's this rubbish about Chiron and Percy getting all gooey-eyed and this business about being favourite student, eh?! The gods are not allowed to favour demi-gods. Ever. Did you not read the books?! Were you not listening when the script was being read to you?! Did you not think it worth your while to THINK about what you were doing?!

It was a rather fast paced movie, not at all what was required. The whole Lotus Casino sequence and that bit where Grover zaps the Hydra using Medusa's head were the only saving graces.

Why oh why did you spoil such a beutiful thing? Why oh why?!

Sorry about all the spoilers but it isn't worth going to the theatre for this rubbish. Wait till the DVD comes out and then too only watch it just because. Some books really do not deserve being messed around with, I wish someone had seen this was one of them. Sigh.

My disappointment aside, it's been a month of waiting. It'll continue for a while. Among the things I await are the Stereophonics concert(s) happening next month ... weeks away, eeekkk!!! And the release of The Blonde Bombshell by Tom Holt, The Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan and Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman.

And summer.