Let's Get This Straight

I recently discovered that 1/3rd of my office is gay. In my position, most of my real-life acquaintances would blanche at such a thing. And I know this to be a fact. Me? I consider it positively wonderful (don't read too much into this, we're not discussing me, we won't ever). It's much like being granted a chance to interact with Pakistanis first-hand on coming to London. Why? Because I forever wondered what they are like in person, when you ignore all the political and historical hoo-haa surrounding them. Wonder why else? Because the answer in both cases is: It doesn't matter.

My less-gay-friendly veering-towards-homphobic friends and acquaintances forever have me wondering why they'd choose to react/behave in this manner. Please note, choose. My friend D simply said 'It's unnatural' when I asked her about reasons for homophobia. Perhaps she means it seems unnatural simply because it's never been something that's been openly discussed. It's existed for ages to be sure. Historically, a whole lot of the nawabs in India were given to homosexuality. 'Nawabi Pesha' is how it is often described. And if you've read Lihaf by Ismat Chugtai, you'd know it wasn't only the men doing it. It is therefore, a matter of never having been deemed fit for public knowledge.

Personally, I think homophobia has its roots in 'the fear of the unknown'. The unknown being not the sexual preferences of such individuals or the 'normalcy' of such a thing, but the lack of a (for the lack of a better word) guideline to behaving with people whom we perceive to be different. Awkwardness and cluelessness, I feel, are the basis of homophobia. It's much like dealing with someone who is missing a limb, or their hearing, or eyesight.. or perhaps, mental capacity. (I'm not implying that homosexuals are missing something vital... merely comparing behaviour towards those incapacitated and towards homosexuals.) Because one simply doesn't come across them everyday, one is left fumbling for words, feeling awward, committing more gaffes than usual in trying to combat the situation.

In the words of Lionel Shriver, we depend upon our inbuilt emotional mechanism to help us react according to the norm in a given situation. We assume it is there. Only when faced with the absence of this do we stumble and fearing this unknown, do we give in to responses that are out-of-character and not commonplace.

I've heard a lot of 'I hate gays' 'Ughh!' 'Oh my god, I really wouldn't want to be around them' kind of responses. All the time, my only reaction is 'These people don't know what they're talking about'. Not one could give a sensible reason as to why they might dislike someone who's homosexual. To me, such reaction is akin to saying 'I dislike curly-haired people' or 'I dislike journalists because they think too highly of themselves'... or any such genereralisation. It's simply pointless.

Besides, what exactly is there to fear from someone who's gay? You think they're going to hit on you? For starters, you're probably not even their type so hitting on you mayen't even have crossed their mind. Instead of recoiling at that, maybe you ought stop and think for a minute that you're lucky to be considered attractive and potential-partner material by both sexes. That only ups your attractiveness quotient... although if you're homophobic, then divide that by 2 because it's such an obvious turn-off. Unless you have a valid reason for being homophobic, speak up... or hold your silence forever.

Also, another individual's sexual preferences are honestly nobody's business... unless said individual happens to be your partner. Sex-lives of other people are not up for discussion and they damn-well do not need to be judged. Judging someone's personal life is a big no-no in any part of the world, in any aspect of life. Also, in this case, it leads to discrimination. Do you know where discrimination stands? Right beside sexism, racism, nepotism, the quota system... so on and so forth. So unless you want to be classed among these, don't enter the area. I don't buy discrimination... in any form.