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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Fountain, Pen

I found two absolutely fabulous websites for fountain pen lovers today http://www.fountainpenhospital.com/ and www.pentrace.com.

And my line of thought follows so.

In this cyber-age where everybody imaginable has a blog as long as they fancy writing, where does it leave the pen and paper kind of writing?

Call me a hapless romantic and sentimental fool, falling for antique stuff.. but seriously, how can you compare the feel of a pen in your hand and a keyboard beneath your fingertips??

The feel of your fingers entwining lovingly around a slender flute, your hand gliding smoothly across the paper, like an eagle in the sky, words forming easily enough, creating the distinct feature called your handwriting.

Think of that and then think of the relentless tapping of your fingertips on indistinct keys, the series of indiscriminate keyboards you handle, where's the personal touch?? Ok, you may type really fast at whatever speed, but really... is there anything else to it? The unintended typos, the faster-than-you-can-think typing... it's easy for the wholeness of your thoughts to get lost in the translation between mind to type.

Think of a fountain pen again, now. It's not just something you write with. It's the comfort of your grip, the uniqueness of your hand, the slow ease at which you write... to quote someone " A fountain pen lets you write slowly, to pause and choose carefully between your thoughts before you pen them down for posterity, before you run away with them." It was a comparision between fountain pens and ball pens actually, but how beautifully it describes the wonder of writing by hand.

A fountain pen is a measure of your personal equation with it, the amount of beauty you can or cannot coax it to create, it's a measure of your character on paper, it's a measure of you.

A piece of written paper gives a more wholesome picture of things than the screen you can stare at. The paper shows the unevenness of the writing, margins, the uniqueness of punctuation marks, the little blots and flourishes that add character to the writing.

What is a screen which has, at best, a selection of fonts and colours to choose from, tools to beautify the page, and yet, leave it monotonous with it's evenness. Beyond the words, what is there to indicate, to tell a story? What is an email sent across cyberspace compared to a letter written on scented paper with pretty borders, decorated with the hand you so cherish and admire, conveying news, emotions and more with its complexity of elements, a thing of art, a possession to treasure, to take out and read again, at leisure, to recount things as you do, evoking memories almost as though the writer were by you, narrating it themselves.

Those who are contrary minded will cite the convenience of speed and ease of typing, and the cumbersome task of refilling a pen, not to mention the time it takes to write... is it really convenience though??

Can a photograph compare to a memory? Can a picture indicate anything beyond the subjects it groups, their colour, expression and age? Can it provide a complete a fulfilling experience like a memory which encompasses not just the visual, but also the sounds that you heard then, the fragrance that lingered in the air, the talk that went on, the feelings felt, the flow of Life in that single moment??

Give me a fountain pen anyday. Give me the choice to create at least my signature. Give me the power to capture at least a little of the vast expanse of a life time in an eternal way, to be read by many, to be wondered at, to be cherished, to be the celebration of what glorious moments it narrates.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Queen Catou

When I was getting back home from dinner, two nights back, I spied a little cat reclining in a graceful manner on the doormat of my neighbours one floor below. Normally cats attract a passing glance from me. Not so with this one. She intrigued me the first time I saw her.

She was a little thing, hardly anything. But her stately manner, like that of a queen resting among plush cushions, arrested you. I went for a closer look. She didn't flinch or run away. Just sat there and looked at me. I squatted next to her. She gave me another look and a miaow. The quiet greeting of a queen meeting fellowmen. She stole my heart then and there.

She was black all over with a little white here and there. She reminded me of a line i'd read once "We were rendered powerless by Blackie's white bib and slippers." Quite so. Although a little dusty from being homeless, my little cat was beautiful!!!! And not the merest trace of malice or haughtiness like I had seen in other cats. She sat there, very trusting, letting me stroke her. she even got up and rubbed against me like we'd been friends all our lives. She seemed to want my company, following me all the time and miaowing if she felt me moving away. I got her a little milk and watched her lap it up.

I didnt' have the heart to leave her, but i couldn't take on a pet right now. With a heavy heart I had to close the door behind me, with her on the other side of it. She was gone the next morning.

I wished with all my heart she hadn't. I prayed for her to be given to me, promising that if I saw her again, I would keep her.

Odd how these prayers are answered. I found her waiting right outside my door today. She had obviously found her way back and sat there waiting. And soon as she set eyes on me, she gave the queenly greeting I'd admired.

Of course i kept my promise!!! I brought her in, played with her and gave her milk. I didn't know what to name her and have so far alternated between Catou, Kitty and Tabby... she doesn't seem to mind my indecisiveness :)

She loves to cuddle and promptly burrowed in to sleep in my lap... typical cat, but oh! how not!!!

The dogs barking outside wake her up and she's afraid... then she looks at me and is assured she's safe. She takes an inventory of her surroundings and goes to her bowl again for snack. And begins her prowling again...

I love this cat.

Here's to you, tabby:

Grace, Poise and Dignity personified

Independence and royalty incarnate

Emerald eyes and feet so nimble,

Tabby, in your court we assemble.

Not Siamese, Persian nor Cheshire,

Stateliness is all she is

Train of fur trailing behind

Feline poetry in motion.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Crocuses

There was this story of Enid Blyon's I reada long time back..... it was about how crocuses came to be. Blyton, in her singularly creative way, spun a gossamer story of how a gnome would take a pot of gold from a certain tree trunk and then spend every night counting all the gold he had.

One night he refused to let in a poor, hungry and sick fellow gnome for he did not want the other to know of his hoard. And though the sick gnome was saved, our friend the rich gnome felt very guilty of choosing wealth over his fello'ws life and asked the fairy queen to suggest a fitting retribution. And the fairy queen asked him to take all his gold and fling it into the country side. The now gold-less gnome dutifully did just that. And when spring came, he saw that the land was full of new blooms, golden in colour and breathtakingly beaytiful to behold. The blooms that sprung from the gold he threw away.

What a confection of imagination!!!! To this day, the remotest reference to crocuses reminds me of this. It was specially glorious to see the country cousins of the crocus ( or at least, thats what they appeared to me like) growing in vast bushes all the way between pune and kolhapur!!!

Did you know, that saffron is the yield of the crocus???? Gold or not, crocuses, even if not created that magically, have given us the gift of something divine!!!

Agony that assuages

Ying and yang. It's balance that serves to make life complete and harmonious. And so, we have love and hate, misery and happiness, penury and wealth, sickness and health..... pain and relief.

And yet, there are times when pain can assuage pain.

Consider this: when you're passionate about something, to the point of craziness, you put yourself mind bosy and soul into it... the agony that you suffer when something goes wrong with that thing is.... mildly described, unbearable. What shall then soothe it??? What will make that pain go away, or at least, help you bear it???? Possibly, it is only appeased by being distracted from it.

Chetan Bhagat talked about 'deep dark inner agony, real pain' in his book One Night @ the Call Centre. The kind of pain that arised from the dark side within each of us. And the protagonist in question chose to cut herself time and again in order to feel pain that wasnt as tortuous as the inner agony she nursed. Pain assuagin pain.

What is it like??? You think, not me!!!! i'm not driven by craziness like that!!! i could nevr never cut myself!!!! And yet, its not a psychotic human who does it. Psychotic. It would be psychotic to try and cut your blood vessels so that you would die... and do that again, and again, and again. No. It isn't even about blood letting. All you're trying to do is feel something other than the heavy emptiness inside. The kind of emptiness that reduces physical pain to something that just pricks.

Yeah, the authorities would haul you to the loony bin in no time, for, of course, in a rational society, people deal with problems, they face them... they dont cut themselves repeatedly. really???? and how exactly do you explain away the millions who drink, smoke, use narcotics, all to do away with that mental agony? And what about all those suicides?? And the domestic abuse?

Rational society. Its rational enough if you can take time to get to the point of dealing with th problem, even if it involves harm, hurting yourself temporarily so that the big hurt does not strike you so hard.

Not to condone making ribbons from one's body.. but really, when you're alone... how long will you wait for help???? you're not killing yourself, ou're helping yourself move on. God helps those who help themselves... any takers???

Vultures of soulcurry

'Play something for us'

Simple enough words. Yet, ominous and deep as the ocean. They don't mean much to the talker as such. But for the one to whom they're directed, they take on a world of meaning.

I'm a beginning violinist, learning western classical to be exact. As such, its a hard-to-play instrument. Your posture, hands, fingers.. everything has to be aligned just so otherwise it all goes kaput. Something so minor as moving your little finger can turn the melodious into the cacophonous. An yet, for all the hard work, its a soulful instrument, something as personal and cheerful as the best friend of your childhood. But to continue....

Its odd, I've been learning the basics for hardly a month and people assume that t means i can play something on it already. By 'play' they mean, playing something thats recognizable and melodious. Dream on!!!! On a violin???? The first two weeks are spent just learning to hold it properly, strum it and if you're staisfactory enough, pick up the bow and hold it in position. Play???? sure, i can play... by some twist, i had to rush through the basics and can actually fiddle a little... but thats it. But ho!!! there are these impossible ignoramuses who think i should easily be playing bach, mozart and the other masters by now... yeah rritee!!!!! The rare music enthusiast recognises the effot it takes and so, even twinkle twinkle little star is an achievement... but alas!!!! how many of those do you find???

'Play something for us'. Its not just that you're an amteur. How come no one asks you if you WANT to play??? Why the instant deification to "Oh!!! You'll join the orchestra yet!!!" In the matter of something being so personal, so close to your soul, something you're passionate about, how dare anyone think it an object of exhibiton??? How could anyone be so airheaded to think it a perform by request thing???

A friend of mine was telling of the casual way in which people tell her to 'Go try for the Indian Idol' beccause she sings well. Yeah... what about the fact that she doesnt want to display it?

There are those who will argue that those who request a performance are enthusiastic enouragers.... and just how many fall into that category pray???

'Play something for us.' No thank you, i'll send you a recording of it.