Hello, I'm Advil Tylenol. I'm An Evil Genius in Training.

My boss and I relieve the tedium of our routine by passing snippets of fascinating info to each other as and when the mood/idea strikes. I just told him about reading a piece in the paper where some guy was saying naming kids after medicine names would be so great. And this is tge conversation tht followed:

Boss: There aren't any cool names in medicine really. And besides, this opens up a whole new world od possibilities regarding the meanings of those names!

Me: Oh I can't really remember, but he did mention quite a few names.

Boss: Yes but imagine their difficulties in later life. Any email addressed to them would immediately be directed to spam!

Me: True

Boss: Oh wait! This is a campain! The parents are spammers and they're going to use this as their weapon to legalize those names and get them removed from the spamming list... and then they'd be rich!

Me: Wow, you really do think far ahead!

Boss: Did I mention I'm moonlighting as an evil genius who plans to take over the world?

Me: So what am I doing HERE as your assistant? You should give me a job!

Boss: Well, you'd have to be a henchman and that job comes with several drawbacks, the main being that you'd be first destroyed at the hands of my nemesis, James Blunt. However, if you do manage to make it to the promoted post of minion, there are perks.

Me: Oh I'm sure I'll survive.

Boss: Okay I'll get you an application form for 'Henchman' then.

Of 'summer'

I know I wrote 'Goodbye summer' and yes I did mean for it to lead you all to believe that I was talking of the season ending. And maybe I should be proud that I could make you all think that was all I was talking about, I am proud that I could reverse reading between the lines... but it also makes me feel terrible. I have no idea why. Maybe I didn't actually want to reveal my true feelings then. But I'm sick of hiding things. And so I shall say exactly what I want to, no hide and seek anymore.

Here's the truth about this piece: It wasn't about summer. Not entirely. It was about one time which could have been summer, it was about a person who I had associated with a certain summer. This was me saying goodbye to a former friend... this was me ending things*. But save your sympathy etc, I had to get it out of my system. And I have now. Thanks for sticking around though!

*And no it was not a break-up.

Let's Say Goodbye

I'm not mad that you won't talk to me anymore. I'm not even sad. I just feel bad. Not at having lost you. There wasn't anything left to lose, was there?

I feel disappointed though that you didn't even attempt to fight for me. It's not even you actually. This wasn't something I could've won anyway. Winning is when something might be considered yours. I despair because I've been on both sides of the fence and neither time did I have the felicity of being fought for.

Not your fault however. Or your responsibility. You did what you had to and Im not going to hold that against you. I'm not that girl. I won't try to force my way into where I'm not needed nor welcome. I will not try to resurrect what was. Because I know when something is over. And I'm wise enough to know that trying will not bring it back. And the end of something isn't always a cause for mourning. Sometimes it's just what was before something else came along. Something that isn't necessarily better, but just is. It's just different.

So I shall not mourn, or pine. I shall not spend quiet evenings pondering over what went wrong and what could have been different. Because nothing went wrong nor could it have been different. It was what it was meant to be. I shall not miss you. Not really. But I shall think of you. Not often — but I shall.

I do wish however that you had found it in you to have simply stated the end, said goodbye, rather than disappear without a word. Not because you owe me an explanation. You do not. And not because I don't understand why. But because saying goodbye was the thing to have done.

Goodbye summer.

We were the cloud shape that lasted a few moments before the wind blew it away.

Now it's you to yours and me to mine,
And like that, we shall be just fine.

Who Will Louve Me?

I was pestering B while at work asking her to talk to me. I did the whole pouting bit and burst out with

"Nobody louves me, I'm going to the garden to eat worms."

She retorted: The worms might just love you.

We already kow slugs do. Heh.

What Does Your Garden Grow?

So, I had a chance to have a good look at the garden yesterday, considering I spent an hour and a half doing that, albeit from one spot. I could very well have been looking at the people going by and come up with something interesting to report... but hey, people aren't all that interesting to me.

Anywhooo.... it was raining the garden soon turned into a freaking slugfest! I could see the tiny buggers everywhere (That's an effor given the poor state of my eyesight, but I did, I swear!) I spotted one centimetres away from my foot and the damn thing started crawling just then. And I know it's silly, but it's absolutely revolting to see one of them crawl more so if they look like they're crawling right towards you. yeuch!! And no, don't gimme the 'All god's creatures great and small' line... I worked for BNHS and I've done my share of loving all creatures, thank you very much.

And after I'd gotten over my initial revulsion, I started paying more attention to sluggy. (Yeah that's how it rolls, it's 'Slug!!' at first, with revulsion, then it becomes 'Mr.Slug' with a minimum amount of respect' and then it's 'Sluggy' in a very comrade-type way.) Sluggy was determinedly crawling as I mentioned before. I'm here to tell anyone who calls them slow-coaches, they're NOT. They're bloody crawling like jelly on a tilted plastic surface!!!


Trying to pass the time by watching sluggy and his friends (uh uh, gimme one reason why slugs should be female? Oh wait, they're hermaphrodites, so it doesn't make any difference :P). Sluggy nimbly crawled and climbed up the wall next to me and when I wondered why he'd do that, he firstly took shelter under the metal bar that separates our property from the neighbours... dunno why, they DO like water after all... My questions were answered when I found sluggy acting all come-hither with another slug that was there. They fooled around for a bit and just as I was thinking I ought to offer my congratulations on the happy event, they decided they weren't suited for each other and moved on. Oh well.

Then there was the other one... crawled towards the puddle that had formed in the handholds of a sewage tank cover and stayed there for a bit, probably contemplating whether to dive in or not. It finally just lounged around at the side of the puddle, much like humans do beside pools... and then got bored and started crawling away.

I also saw a lone garden snail. Man these snails are batty. Last I saw one, it has bits of dirt sticking to its shell. I counted 16 slugs and that one garden snail before I went inside.

What was I doing out in the rain for 90 mins you ask? I forgot my keys in the morning. Yes yes, we all know where this is headed. I got locked out. Again. Stop sniggering. NOW.

What Has Long Legs, A Fuzzy Head and Black and Yellow Hair?

Me.

This is what you get for going to bed thinking about colouring your hair and thinking back to 'The Bee Movie' that you watched two nighs back, at the same time. Dreams where your stylist is recommending that you streak your hair yellow.

The Definition of Recognition in My Crazy World

You guys remember my train fiasco right? So today morning on my way to work, I managed to get my regular train rather than being late and then having to rush to the underground station and then battle claustrophobia for 30 minutes.

Anyhoo, just as the train was pulling into its final destination, guess what the display board should flash?

'THIS TRAIN IS EMPTY TO DEPOT. PLEASE ALIGHT HERE...'

Tom & Jerry, new episode

So what if it's Friday? It means nothing when the editor's going on holiday and we have to work at double speed to get things off to press and to other editors.

Anyway, amidst the madness that had taken hold of our office today, busy trying to get a hundred things done, all which needed my attention and completion at ONCE, I decided to double check some detail before I sent something out. So I'm standing there, doors to our cupboards open, diligently perusing whatever document it was in my hands and I hear a gasp behind me. I turned around, frowning slightly, only to see my boss standing there, eyes wide, hand covering his mouth. Deftly putting two and two together I asked him 'Were you just about to shut the door with me behind it?' He recovered and said 'I was going to apologise if that makes it better.'

So, you see, sometimes we play Tom & Jerry at work for amusement.

*Excited shriek* Sigh!!!!

It's totally totally worth going alone to my favourite Italian for lunch.

The food is unsurpassable and if that were not enough... I even get to be seated right in front of the lovely little kitchen, have the rather dashing young waiter and the kitchen staff flirt with me (and who knew smiles and twinkles could be THAT communicative? :D)... my waiter spoke in Italian throughout, I have no idea why but heck... he and the kitchen staff seemed to think it absolutely heaven-sent to have me seated under their noses :P (God, am giggling like I were seventeen... can't help it, everytime anyone gives me this super-gorgeous-woman treatment I melt :P)

Top it all off with not one but two pieces of my favourite complimentary dark chocolate and what you've got yourself is a very happy, sated, giggling me... happy to while away the afternoon at work, which at first had seemed so boring. :D :D :D

I Have A Master's Degree. In Getting Locked Up.

Remember how I got locked out and then locked in?? Turns out that the degree I began with those apparently reached a conclusion yesterday as I set a new record for myself, excelling in such activities, as they may be.

I was out shopping after work and got to the station way later than usual. The display board was yet to announce the platform on which my train stood but I sallied forth confidently, not letting that deter me.

I saw the train that comes from home pulling in and by over using my mental capacity, figured this was the one I was supposed to board. So I did, after dutifully letting the passengers get off. I chose a seat and made myself comfortable thinking gleefully how I'd been so smart as to choose a seat near the door which would open right in front of the exit of my home station.

Toodle doodle doo... tweet tweet... deeet... sat there twiddling my thumbs mentally, waiting for the announcement, other passengers... something that would be indicative of the normalcy of this situation. And then, CLANG! The doors shut. The display starts to show the trainis heading t another station. And I'M THE ONLY FREAKING PASSENGER IN THE TRAIN!!!!

To add some merriment to this situation my phone starts buzzing just then and since I recently changed my ringtone to 'Dakota' and it scared the friggin hell out of me when it rang in the middle of the night while I was in that state between sleep and wakefulness and am yet to fully recover from the trauma of this, it didn't help things one bit.

Anyhoo... after much running back and forth between the two sets of doors and activating the emergency alarm and standing like a fool while people passed by without so much as looking at me (Was it because I was wearing black???!!! NOOOOOOOO... I'M A RIGHT HOTTIE YOU FOOLS!! HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE ME??!!!)... I had a guard come spot me, give a slightly undecided look and finally unlock the doors. He also asked 'Where were you when we were checking the train earlier?' I was trudging towards it, that's where I was. hmpfh!n an aside, why doesn't it ever happen that, for for-the-sake-of-posterity type moments, nobody ever asks 'Where were you all my life?' type questions??? Ok, maybe not. That would be freaky. So yeah, he helped me out all the while looking like he was mentally shaking his head going 'Damn fools! THIS is what I do with my life, deal with people like HER! GAH!'

Long story short, I hopped on the right train and came home.

No, I don't do embarassment... not much point really because that would mean I'd be embarassed all the time.

Soooo.... if this was the conclusion of my MA in Locked Up, I wonder what my graduation's going to be like. *sarcasm* can't wait! *end sarcasm*