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Sunday, November 29, 2009

Chewing it over

Eve must have had a moment or two of hesitation and indecision before she bit into the apple. A moment or two when she weighed her options, thought about what it might be like after ... hell, thought about what it tasted like and if she would like it.

I currently feel like Eve must have, with all this Twilight frenzy around. And which smart-ass decided to put an apple on the cover, I'd like to ask.

It's sort of been on my radar for a bit, it isn't really something one can ignore, what with all the posters popping up in your face as you amble in the city and enough people on buses and trains reading copies of the blighted books.

However, thus far I have resisted. I read Stephen King lampoon the writing* and what other bits I read about the book and the movie said it had an annoying whiny heroine and the acting was bad. I like my heroines to be feisty and spunky and my movies to be convincing. So that's pretty much ruled it out for me so far.

But, I find that I'm slowly being drawn to the edge. I've read enough moxed reviews by now to confuse me into this "To bite or not to bite" state. Pitu says she liked the movie. Twisted DNA's opinion intrigued me even as I gave in to hilarity. The Bride weighs its pros and cons and I do think she makes a fair point. Agent Green Glass isn't very impressed and Metrostudent, on the other hand, is recovering from a forced outing to view the new movie and doesn't feel so kindly towards it:

Verdict – Bella gets herself a new fella (YAWN – AGAIN). He’s not a drug-seller. The Title of ‘New Moon’ is yeller. Please hide this film somewhere where we can’t see it – like a coal cellar.

Sheer brilliance that, I say!

Marina Hyde, one of my favourite Guardian columnists, warns that resistance is futile. The commenters are pretty evenly divided between loving it and hating it. Oh and there's enough feminist musing in there.

"I've seen so many people, usually feminists, say the books are anti-female and promote weakness in woman and in my opinion, that is the total opposite of what they do. Bella is a very strong character, who in the end, saves everyone, including Edward. Most girls Bella's age feel insecure about themselves, but Edward never tries to make her feel that way, he thinks she is WAY too good for him. I've never been able to figure out why people hate twilight so much. You don't have to like it, but what's wrong with a love story, that also promotes abstinence before marriage and family unity. As a mother, I love it." is the response of one woman.

A few comments down someone else says "I do think the whole thing is interesting, but I lack the heart and soul of twelve year old girl." and continues with "I'd like to think the attraction was looking at boys' naked bellies, but sadly I really think it's because these days teenage girls have turned into World of Warcraft playing nerds. I don't really think encouraging abstinence among teenagers is such a good thing. There's nothing worse than awkward ageing virgins in their 20s, or God forbid, in their 30s."

There is also all this talk of Taylor Lautner's abs ("... the main attraction of the new film is Taylor Lautner's amazing abs" ) and Robert Pattison's dishy looks("I'm a 21 year old heterosexual male and I can appreciate that Robert Pattinson is indeed a very pretty fellow") (and I can see the google searches landing people on this page now ... you eye-candy hungry people, you!). Now, I don't give two hoots about Taylor Lautner's abs or Robertson whatsisname (On one of those days when my tongue was more scathing than usual, I was heard to remark 'Bite me?! I'd ask to see a dentist's certificate before I let him so much as smile at me' ... in all fairness, I just wanted to use that line :P) ... but it's making me wonder if I should. I mean, the guy looks like a boy-band member what wit his laal lipstick and too much foundation and last time I checked it was babyface wtchoocallim (Nick Carter, yeah I know his name, rite of passge and all that jazz) ... he was wearing pink lipstick (although it might've been enhanced with photoshop) point being ... I am actually paying attention to teenage sucker phase thingy.

Hell, I even checked out the Guardian's photo-narrative on the new faces in the new movie and the comments about people forgetting red-eye reduction functions on new cameras and something about "another of those blighters" cracked me up but it told me the movie has Dakota Fanning, who, other than having grown up into one helluva cute teenager, shares her name with one of my favourite songs.

I'm not exactly going about kissing posters of Robert Pattison on the underground ... but I'm very nearly sucked into this whirlpool of silliness.

Forget Twilight, place your bets. Will I bite? Will I get bitten? Fate, is it written?

*not that I have a very good opinion of Stephen King and not that his opinion matters much ... be as it may that he's considered a good writer, I find his constant allusion to his work and his belief in his greatness rather tiresome. I prefer authors who possess a modicum of humility.


  1. Thankoo for linking to my post. I haven't seen 'New Moon' yet, mostly because I did not wish to be trampled and murdered by hordes of pimple-faced screaming teenagers in the theater. This by the way is also why I avoid Abercrombie stores. So the plan is to catch the movie once the ridiculous hysteria has died down a bit. Seriously, the only things about the first movie that I liked were the eye candy and the music. You really shouldn't be seeing Twilight if you want a spectacular story/direction/acting etc. If you go in wanting 'netrasukh' i.e. 'happiness for the eyes' lol, you'll be happy. If you want a real taste (the pun is deliberate) at vampiric erotica, just go rent a dvd of 'An Interview With the Vampire'. Lestat FTW!

    As for Stephen King, wtf is he all gloating about? This is a guy who writes bestsellers which are pulp for god's sake. And he acts like he is the next bloody Steinbeck/Auden/Thomas/Eliot/ insert fave LITERARY luminary's name. Hmmph!

    And on the subject of eye candy, I intend to check out a new show my friend's drooling about- it's called 'White Collar' and the leading man (Matt Bomer) is supposedly sex on feet :D

  2. talk of fooling billions and making billions..twilight is one of the most over rated shit of

  3. see... if it had a hot female vampire and a lost-looking guy, it would have been an even bigger hit. i see nothing wrong in there being eye candy for women in it. that said, i don't want to see it. it's not something that entertains me. of course, it isn't even made for me. so, that settles it for me! :)

  4. I liked the twilight series of books but I cannot stand that Kristen Stewart.. The book portrays her as a lovable goofy kind of girl, but in the movie, she looks super cruel :)

  5. ..haven't seen yet new moon till. Hope this time more noise than silence..

  6. One more bites the dust... sorry, apple, huh?

    Personally, I like my vampires old school - dastardly, hypnotic (actually hypnotic, not just so hot she hypnotizes) and terrifying. My quota of emotional vamps was filled by Moonlight (It has The Doctor's Madame De Pompadour) and what I saw of Buffy.

    So even if that frenzy didn't turn me off, I am not sure I will check this series. Still, tell us how you like it.

  7. Pitu: Pleasure's all mine! :) HAHA @ 'netrasuck' :D I might as well google for photus of Hugh Jackman or something if that's what i want na? I might give this a miss I guess ... I'm so not in a movie-watching mood, like at ALL!

    Stephen King ... I know right?! Why the attitude?! Granted he has a huge fan following but why the self-importance!

    I'm off to check out Matt Bomer now ... thanks for the tip ;) :D

    Soin: Ah, some people have made up their minds irrevocably then ... that's a good thing I guess! And hello, welcome :)

    Catty: Now THAT is a vampire movie I'd watch!! Hell I'd pay good money to watch it! Scripting karo! Let me go get hold of our director :D

    Dee: Oh god, she puts me off too! Weird mouth and all ... so you've read the books? You liked them?

    Vickey: You liked Twilight then?

    Amey: Oi! I'm still contemplating, don't write me off yet! I don't much care about vampires actually ... and it might actually be a long time before I watch this (or any movie) ... I'm staying away from the video thingy for now. And we have a hot new script on our hands ... your input is invited pliss!

  8. Hot script? Is that for "Racoon Man"? I did my part - gave you the title song. Once script starts taking shape, we will start casting. But, I want Katrina Kaif in the movie.

  9. How and where exactly will Katrina Kaif fit into a movie about Racoon Man?!

    No I was not referring to Racoon Man ... refer to Catty's comment above, she has a noo idea :D

  10. katrina kaif can fit in anywhere in any movie.
    i am totally with amey on this!

  11. I don't know what that mother is talking about but when one sees Taylor Lautner's abs, abstinence is the last thing one thinks about. Not that I would know, just saw those pictures while I was doing some research. Ahem.

    Also, There's nothing worse than awkward ageing virgins in their 20s . . . .

    You really didn't mean that, did you now? :P . . .

  12. @DDD: Any non-superpowered female in superhero movie is just there for "netrasukh", right? Or going by Rayshma's idea, we can fit KK as a hot vampire lady, if not the hot vampire lady.

    As for lost looking guys, that would be tough in Bollywood. So many natural choices...

  13. Catty: Yeah because he lurves her for being eye-candy and you lurve her for being such great marketing material :P Theek hai, as you both choose.

    RWS: Hey you!!! It's good to see you here again! :) And HAHA! @ Lautner's abs and the mother's comment ... well, you do have a point. So ... how's the research going then? ;)

    "awkward ageing virgins in their 20s ...! that was NOT my comment ... it was a quote. I don't fancy dwelling on anybody's sex-life, thankyouverymuch!

    Amey: Arre haan, I get the netrasukh part lekin role kya hoga? Okay you can cast her ... I want the Vamp movie made though, Racoon-Man takes a backseat for now. KK could be A vamp ... see if you can find someone else to be THE vamp :D

  14. if you have katrina (i refuse to label her as KK... too many of those around!), then ur THE vampire won't get noticed. eye candy always has to be THE heroine... nahi toh heroine ko kaun dekhega?!
    i like katrina coz she's pretty and marketable. given a good director, anyone can act.

  15. I love the books!!

    I totally *heart* Jacob.. But I do feel like 13 yr old when I read all that mush..

    I want to marry u anthe.. IDIOT