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Wednesday, August 20, 2008


It's a pretty well-known and documented thing, this bond men have with their mothers. The obsession men have with mom's cooking especially (Something that is there even if it's not actively encouraged... ask the Mad Momma). And truly, it's maddening... not because gfs/wives/female friends have to constantly put up with comparisions to the exalted skills of the mother of the man (And god bless those men who've learned to not compare). Okay, it is a wee bit annoying, but let's put that aside. I ask you, why focus on culinary skills alone? Haven't your mothers accomplished other things? Why the cooking only??!!

Also, why go on and on and on about how much love there is between your mother and you? We girls don't keep on about how much we love either of our parents, if you've noticed it anytime. Why the need to make it known to the whole world? And don't you dare get defensive on me because I have brothers and they do the very same thing. I'm including them in this whole thing.

Actually, it's not even just the mothers you know. It's anybody, any woman who happens to mother the guy a bit. Sisters, cousins, rakhi sisters, aunts... there always has to be a declaration of how great so and so is because they do such and such motherly thing. Mothers win this anytime though.

I'm raving... but here's what I actually wanted to say.

I'd gone house hunting last evening. The house I went to see is a four-people share and after looking about the rooms, the current tenants invited me to sit down and have chat. The room that is being let out presently belongs to a guy and I happened to meet him too. We got talking and he was quite nice company. Pleasant-faced, affable, willing to talk. He told me he was a chef and had been in London for nearly two and half years and he was now heading back to his homeland. And he said:

"I miss my mother!!! And her cooking... and my dogs."


  1. uh.. ok... what hpnd to the apartment? howz it, eh?
    and yeah, it IS irritating. and yes, ALL men are like that! :D my bro included! can't do anything abt it. this is also the reason why women are so good at silencing men with their eyes. afterall, WHAT can u say to something like this! :D

  2. Looks like somebody got compared one time too many ;)

    I guess it is more "ghar ka khana", which of course means mom's cooking. Now tell me you don't miss that.

  3. Hence proved that the mithais from maa ks haath in khana cannot be replicated even by professional chefs working in phoren.

    I get to hear no end of how "mummy" does things at their place.

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  5. Moms are spoilt too by the constant praise of anything they make.My mom cooked not so often,but whenever she did and declared"I cooked it", we all go...oh you did and just eat.My brothers do loved when she took the pain of making their favourites.

    Anyway...i'm here to tell you that I found a JAFFA Cake at the store the other day and thought of you.

  6. Haha! Spoilt mamma's boys are totally annoying! And its true..what IS it with boys and their mother's cooking? Obsessive i'd say! Get over it already!!

    Anyway, loved ur blog! Love ur writing! Just added it to my blogroll :)!

    Keep Writing!

  7. Anonymous1:25 AM

    Ha! tell me about it now as I have the ILs at home and see the husband getting all pampered and baby-ed with the food!! Like he was malnourished all this time he lived with me !!!

    And let me not begin with the weight-loss thingie too that I get to hear ever so often which is a subtle way of telling I dont feed him enough!

  8. Ayyo, what more do you expect from a mommy ka beta going back home after years ;)

    I have said this before on one of my similar sounding post ( and you did empathize!)..they keep going on and on about the khana even if the mummy is staying along and cooking her 'not so great' stuff.

    It's not very suprising when sometimes the mummy says ' I am very famous for my khichdi..ask my son!'


  9. Rayshma: You blog-stalker you! :P Still haven't heard from the people about the house :( And I'm totally practising my stop-in-your-tracks stare... nothing is effective like it is :D

    Amey: I've been on both sides of the comparision coin really so no this isn't about comparision. It's about how the focus always is on the cooking. WHY just THAT??? I miss my mom's cooking too but afar me it from me to make that the sole identity trait of her. C'mon, how would you feel if your gf/wife were to constantly go on and on about her dad or brother? Even if she wasn't actually comparing?

    Never mind: Precisely! Although one does find rare cases that are the exception to the rule :)

    RWS: You're going off on a Freudian tangent :P This isn't about what we have to put up with, but about why all guys tend to swivel on that one pivotal point of cooking.

    Sree: I don't think it's a bad thing to appreciate a mother for all that she does for her family, per se. It's just that when that appreciation and love spills over into the... 'public domain' that it becomes a bit... annoying. How did you like the Jaffa Cake then? :)

    Neha: Spoilt mumma's boys are a different deal altogether. Thanks for blogrolling me, it's always flattering :)

    Snippetsnscribbles: haha!! Who's supposed to ensure that the wife is healthy and eating well I ask you? No one seems to think that necessary at all! Kya hai yaar!

    Alwayshappykya: heheheh!! I'm more annoyed by the 'cooking cooking more cooking' bit than actual comparision. Women do other things with their lives besides cooking. Why not acknowledge and appreciate that? And what about the fact that the girl has grown up with different cuisine? Why expect her to instantly change her mind about it? Pigeon-holing and no respect for new ideas... that is what gets my goat. The rest is typical male behaviour. And we've all dealt with that one way or another.

  10. Well, you can't really say I miss my mom's cleaning or washing, do you? (Though I definitely miss my mom taking care of washing my clothes ;)) Also, each person, even if working from same ingredients and recipe produces a different tasting food (as I have learned over the years)

    I am not commenting on the comparison. I am commenting on why it is almost always "cooking" which is compared.

    And who said women don't compare. Have you forgotten the original Chupke Chupke? ;)

  11. I so agree!!!!

    recently, the boy wanted to applaud my cooking some dish and when he ran out of words, simply said "you know I love my mom's cooking. you're 98% there"


  12. Amey: Washing/cleaning???!!!! ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! IS that ALL you can think of when you think of mom??? If that's not pigeon-holing then I'd like to know what is. What I meant was... don't you ever think of mom in terms of her jokes, her people skills, maybe she's good at maths, maybe she won a medal for social services, or has a PhD in Physics or something. How come those things pale in comparision to the cooking??? And yes, people turn out different tasting things with the same ingredients. But no girl will ever constantly go on about how great a cook her mom is... definitely not in front of partner or partner's family.

    And Chupke Chupke?? Hero ko mauka mila na sab ko sabak sikhane ka? Real life mein kitni ladkiyaan kar paati hain aise? eh? :)

    Chandni: haha!! I hear you sister, I hear you!!!! What was your response?

  13. Of course, it is not just mom's cooking. As far as I am concerned, I miss everything about home. But as for other things, I can always call and talk to my mother or father.

    Missing mom's cooking is not limiting her to just one part of her life, it is one part which we cannot get. You can't get the dish you like, cooked just as you like over a phone call, can you now?

  14. Amey: A debate?! A like you!! And yes I agree that you can't get mom's cooking over the phone. But why keep declaring how much you love it to the world at large? And especially to the other women around. See Chandni's comment. Why do that? If two guys meet, is there ever a debate about who's mom is a better cook?

  15. Oh, as I said, I wasn't talking about comparison, I was just talking about why it is always cooking. Personally, I won't do this unless I am pulling my gf/wife's leg (and make sure she knows it).

    I guess girls don't do it because traditionally, they are the ones cooking. You won't compare your cooking with somebody else's in public, would you? As for the boys, they have to "adjust" to a whole new taste after marriage, and hence the comparison. (Err, I know girls have to adjust to a lot more, and hence the quotation marks)

    Possibly, one more "tradition" which will soon be gone, since at least some boys have to cook now.

    I hope "A like you" meant something good ;)

  16. Two words for Anu and the other ranting women in here:

    Daddy Complex.

  17. Amey: Excellent points!!! But take my advice, do not ever compare... even in jest!

    And the 'A' was supposed to be an 'I'. I suspect I have some weird form of dyslexia coz I'm forever intechanging those two!

    Ashish: Not good enough. You're going to have to elaborate. The daddy complex is a mere sub-meson compared to the multiple universe that a mommy-complex is. Triple brownie points for you if you make that the point of your next article (and believe me it'll be a great hit)... and I'll try harder to find you a girl if you do this ;)

  18. mothers and cooking are synonymous,
    girls always appreciate their father, and are more attached to them,so ? Boys never say-why are u daddy's pet?:)
    Btw I love my son fawning over me, my cooking and everything I is the best:)

  19. Lady, you have just effectively shot down all my arguments! Classic case of the battle being won from within :P Like I said, daddy-complexes aren't as huge as mommy-complexes.

    These things are compunded because men tend to forget such comparisions and if they do remember, manage to reach some sort of truce with the other man. It's easier for them. Women on the other hand, will never quit trying to outdo each other and prove their point around each other... which is why it's best to not start off this in the first place.

    All the same, glad your son adores you. We all need all the love there is :)

  20. I'm lucky (?) to be married to a guy who is a total non-mummy's boy.

    The thing is - he's a daddy's boy - since his dad did the cooking. Oh and there's the thing of his dad being a renowed chef.


  21. Oh wow! Does that effectively mean that it's basically who's cooking they grew up eating? And nothing else? That throws up a whole new set of questions!

  22. I smell something burning here :p