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Monday, August 18, 2008

Some Things I Wish Came With User-Support

Gripping the pen/pencil/whatever when trying to write: Whaaaaaaat???!!! It's a genuine problem! I've had a really weird grip for ages and although my handwriting is superb (It is okay? Am inordinately proud of it, so shut up!), I'm still at a loss as to how a pen should be held. My hand hurts after a bit and writing an exam has always been an issue thanks to this. Yeah I know, all normal people have trouble writing papers for two-three hour stretches... but this is a special case. No, I don't suppose you'll get it. But come now... if people can have classes for how to hold forks and knives and use them, then why not this???!!

Walking around in heels: I'm a young lady. Young ladies walk around in heels. It's a woman's prerogative to wear heels, according to the doctor I visited one time. So... knowing how to walk should be the logical step here right? Young ladies ought to look dainty and effortlessly light when stepping in heels. Not me though. No sirreeee... I feel, look and behave like an elephant when am in high-heels. I might even sound like one... but who's to say? Women clomping about in high-heels is a common sound these days.

Make-up: Who the heck is supposed to educate me on wearing kajal so it looks properly lined around my eyes? Brothers are useless when it comes to such education I tell you. Ulta they'll come and ask you for help buying stuff for their girlfriends. And then you get into trouble for recommending the wrong thing :P I just asked M to help me by sending a video of the thing and she refused. In spite of blogging about her. Where's all the louve gone I ask you? :P

Men: Need I say more? I still will though :D This is the stuff they ought to teach in school really! What use is learning history and geography when you're dealing with real-life combat situations where they won't be of use? If they MUST teach history then they should teach how much of a pain all those emperors were to their wives and how nothing has changed. They should teach us about how historically women have been dealing with male-induced problems... and help us carry that legacy on. And yes yes of course, guys can have similar courses in understanding women. (You don't have to really make efforts to make them attend... they'll automatically enroll when they turn 13 :P). Hmmm... I could open a school or something for this sort of thing... would be a big hit. And my brothers would be of great help here... given I've been giving them insider info on girls for ages now they really ought to reciprocate. Okay they can share the profits. Now they'll definitely contribute :P

Anything you want a user-support thingy for?


  1. SIGH. okay. i shall be ur user support for all of the above. esp where it comes to kajal & high heels. i, proudly proclaim that i'm good at both. go look at my pics for proof! :D
    so there! problem solved. as far as men are concerned... u may not wanna listen to me, actually! :D not that THAT would stop me from giving u vishesh tippanis! :P

    i need user support in talking on the phone. personal calls. i can't talk for more than 9 minutes if it's a non-official call.

  2. where can you find teachers who can teach female psyche to us lesser mortals?

  3. *You have been tagged*
    Dare you to take it up ;)

  4. WTF!!!

    A girl having trouble figuring out guys?!! And all this while I was under the impression that we were looked upon as simple primitive beings incapable grasping the finer nuances of feeling or enhanced emotional awareness, and that it was easier to figure out what we're thinking than a croc with dinner on its mind (ok... the analogy sucks :P)!

    Then again, there may not be a contradiction here at all. We probably ARE looked upon as simple primitive beings blah blah blah... and a pain in the ass to boot :D.

    You're welcome :P.

  5. abt user support for..
    1.excessive joblessness
    2.bearing unbearable reality shows on in indian tv
    3.dipping marie biscuits into tea properly so that the biscuits do not get over soaked and fall back into the tea..!??

  6. dealing with Indian relatives, especially the nosey variety

  7. guys can have similar courses in understanding women.
    Believe me, guys have more need of a course on this topic.

    Now, let me come back after I have put the image of an elephant on heels out of my mind.

  8. I'd want a user support for dress sense!
    Of course i'd think tht most guys find it waaaaay difficult to understand girls....and generally its never the other way around.
    As its said in med school... 'After neurophysiology, girls are the most difficult to understand'.... or was it the other way round...hmmm.

    @silk smitha and disco shanthi.... there is a guide on how to dip marie biscoot into coffee... its on discovery.
    As for indian reality shows...well...theres not much anyone can do bout it no?!!

  9. i was thinking guys need to take a course to understand women. They are pretty easy.

  10. I need user support for life itself. It's very non-consumer friendly that God does not have a customer support number :( ...

    I need some clarifications fo, him :P :P ...

  11. Count me in for make-up and high heels classes. Coincidentally I picked up a make-up how-to DVD at the library yesterday. Will let you know if I find anything interesting.

    Oh I cant wait for you to do alwayshappykya 's tag. Should be fun fun fun!

  12. Rayshma: Yay!!! Looking forward to it! :D And phone talking problem? I can't help ... but I have friends who can... just call them :D

    Winger: I'm not called 'resourcefu' for nothing ;)

    Alwayshappykya: Yes Ma'm! No problem Ma'm!

    Aditya: Who said anything about a user manual? I said user-support. And yeah, men ARE rather simple creatures... aggravating ones though :P

    Silk smitha and disco shanthi: I have answers for you :D
    1]Blog. Blog a lot.
    2]Switch TV off. Or change channel to news or fiction based shows. Or fiction based news. Your pick.
    3]Ask a Marwadi :D This was told to me by a Marwadi so it's highly recommended.

    Chandni: Oh absolutely! Would be the next bestseller in fact!

    ??!: Little less seriousness please!

    Amey: I know they do :) And your mental image of an elephant in heels cracked me up more than my own statement :D

    Whencutdeep: How goes exam prep?? And neurophysiology? hahahaha!!! Dress sense user-support-aa? Get a gay friend... I hear they're good at such things :D

    Arunima: Oh they're easy to figure out alright! It's the dealing with them on some coomonly occurring occasions bit... ya know?

    RWS: Your name finally defeated my good grammar instincts :( And do you want God as in Morgan Freeman or Gabriel Casseus's number? Alternately, send me your complaints... am forver chewing God's ear about something, I can put in a word :D

    Never mind: Yeah let me know if that DVD was helpful! And dear God! What have I gotten inot with trying to make you all laugh?! :D

  13. Well, that's what came to my mind when I read that sentence. Not to say you are an elephant, or look like one, or act like one...

    Where were we again?

  14. And you forgot Big B as God.

  15. Amey: haha!! Relax. I wasn't about to charge at you for calling me an elephant... they're such gorgeous gentle creatures anyway :)

    And Big B is not god according to me. Simple coz I haven't watched the movie where he is. Yeah am illogical like that, sometimes :D

  16. Hi, I just found your blog on the main page, the title caught my attention and I kept on reading and reading. I really liked the way you write, loved it :)D:

  17. And I did find that you're a southie. Are you a Telugu?

  18. heheh wht's this - i go away for a few days and there's like a million posts i need to read!!

    i agree with MEN - my god...need some serious user support there :D

  19. Sweetster: That's very flattering! :) Welcome here. I'm a kannadiga. You a southie too?

    Silvara: Oh darling, my fingers seem to have a mind all their own lately, insist on blogging every other day! :D

  20. Yes, I'm a southie too. But I'm a Telugu :)

  21. did i teach you either?
    actually, did i do anything other than laugh at your pics where you've applied make-up?! :D