The New Social Order

I'd like to start an umbrella campaign.

By which I mean the random exchange of umbrellas between complete strangers on the street.

Why? Have you noticed how nice and colourful everyone's umbrellas look*? It's boring to carry the same one every day... would be fun to simply exchange and pass it on every once in a while :D

*Do not mention black umbrellas at this point, I very well know they exist. I cannot provide answers to every question. Hmpfh!

Edited to add: This is mine, in case you were wondering. It's girly, I know. I'm a girl.

A Dewdrop Dream

It has been years since you and I parted ways and though anyone would think I might've managed to forget about you, I haven't. I still think of you time to time. I think of us. I think of how it might've been had we managed to work this out and stay together.

Looking back, sometimes it seems we never really stood a chance. Or did we? Our families didn't approve of our alliance and therefore our separation was inevitable. But... really? Religion parted us. Or rather, they parted us because they had religious differences. We'd been getting on so fine on our own. So fine!

The kids are rather divided on this whole thing of course. Some of them couldn't care about it one bit. Some of them wish earnestly to be united with you and the pack there. Some of them have taken to deliberately and radically besmirching you. They make me proud, sad or angry depending on what they think... But it's beyond me now to guide them. Or I feel so anyway. The more optimistic ones feel not all is lost. But they seem to be outnumbered by the sour ones and that weight is a heavy and dead one for my brighter ones to counter. I feel such happiness when occasionally one of them comes across one that belongs to you and comes home with eyes shining, full of stories, exclaiming about what wonderful company they found. And I feel a glimmer of hope then ...

I know much has happened since then and we cannot seem to stop sniping... specially over that piece of property. And yet occasionally, I think we'd be able to work things out if we gave ourselves a chance.

And you must admit, this isn't an existence to be admired. Living within sight and yet having to trudge day after day in a strange rhtythm that involves animosity and hatred.

And I know it's your identity that you worry about here, worry that you may lose it again if we got back together. But I promise I shall toe the line this time. I shall respect your wishes, desires and thoughts and give you the space you require. If only we may be granted the chance to try and make things work again.

I do miss you.

And I dream of a day when perhaps we may be together again.

When we shall not be the rival countries India and Pakistan.

??? ^(**^%$£!!!!

Hypothetical conversation:

"I'm going to Nice for a weekend!"

"Niiiiiiiiiice!!!!!"

"No, actually, it's neece"

Tee hee!!!

PJ of the day:

Why don't the Indian police wear full-sleeved uniforms?

Kyunki, kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hain :P

(The arm of the law is quite long)

Yea yea, I know...

Every Dog* Has Its Day

I see some of you were very curious when I mentioned my wedding in the last post. Just clarifying things... nothing is coming up immediately, it's just something that I'd been thinking of as a part of the future sometime... every girl plans her wedding, cmon!! BUT, I shall indeed share news of such nature as and when it does occur :) Mera bhi number aayega!!!

In other news: I was watching a few videos and came across some which were essentially of owners showing off what tricks their dogs could do.

I'm a little annoyed by this though. I can understand guide-dogs and rescue-dogs being trained... but those are to help people. This is just purely someone ordering their dog about for their own pleasure and convenience. And it really irks me.

Aren't those poor dogs living beings in their own right? Do they not deserve to be treated as individuals? I can understand house-training pets so they do not poo all over your house, bite strangers, sit on the sofa or chew it and the curtains, hurt your babies and create a mess within the house. That stuff is essentially drawing boundaries for behaviour and it still seems acceptable.

But 'training' another creature to fetch your newspaper, slippers, shake hands on command, sit, stand, run, roll-over... it's not anything I find I can digest. Why must any creature be subject to YOUR whims and fancies in order to sit or sleep or eat? What is the point of training a pet to do these things? Entertainment? Since when did lording over someone (and indeed they ARE someone) become entertainment? Personally, it only makes me view such people with contempt. I honestly cannot comprehend making another creature's life all about serving you... it's just not right.

If you have thoughts that are different to mine, please do share them. I'm not averse to hearing different opinions, maybe even accepting them if tey make sense.

And speaking of weddings and dogs in the same breath, a long time ago, G and I were talking about things and I was telling her that I really want a dog. Like really really really.

Digression. I react to dogs the way some people react to babies. I want one. My eyes go all melty and my state is between longing and adoration... and in this country it's all I can do to not walk up to dog owners and their dogs and pet the creatures... pull them to me and go all 'Whoosh my liddle pumpkin... gooshy gooshy!!!', chase them and roll around with them. Sigh. I so badly want a dog that it hurts.

Anyway, I said to G that I would wait till I got married to have a dog because I couldn't really take care of one on my own at that point, living alone and all. And G goes:

"Arre dekh na! That's such a brilliant answer!! Tujhe koi dekhne aayega aur poochega ki tujhe shaadi kyon karni hai toh tu bolegi 'Ji actually mujhe ek kutta chahiye!'" (Such a brilliant answer when someone comes to 'see you' as a suitor. They'll ask why you want to be married and you'll say 'Actually, I want a dog')

*And indeed, their female counterparts.

Onwumbiko*

I've had to face mortality a lot, lately.

My favouritest uncle passed away a month or so ago and I still haven't actually come to terms with that. It doesn't seem real yet. Even though there are random moments in my day when I think 'Why did you have to leave us?'.

And today I received news that my aunt's FIL had passed away a day after he was reported to be recovering well from an operation on the day before. I'm not quite devastated but I am grieving and I am somewhat upset. He wasn't particularly closely related nor was I really close to him... but given that I lived at their place for a while and we did make some memories then, this is hard to deal with. I smile thinking of how he said 'I shall call her Princess now' when I met him mere months ago and how he would be happy at the tiny fact that at family gatherings I was the only one other than mom in the kannada-speaking crowd who would make an effort to talk in Tamil and thus somehow make them a part of the gathering.

There have been several other deaths in the last year. Not all of them really registered. But mum's best friend lost her husband and I really like the lady, it's hard to not feel anything in such a case. Specially seeing as how the gentleman passed away weeks after my meeting him and coming to London. There are the sundry elder relatives I lost.

And each time I think 'My wedding shall take place without their presence'. It makes a difference because my wedding has been the embodiment of happiness to me. And I wanted all these people to have been there to share it with me. But they're all gone now.

My favourite uncle. I had high hopes there. I wanted him to be there and do my kanyadaan along with my parents and my other aunt and uncle. It meant a great deal to me. Because these three couples are the elders who truly shaped me. And while my parents can never be matched, the other four adults are, were, will always be the people who were close enough to being parents too... surrogate parents, just to have a term to describe them. And now one of them shall not be there. And lord knows who else I shall have to miss.

And sitting here, it's making me think if I should simply abandon what I have here and go home so I can build memories while I still can. Speak to my grandparents, hear the stories from my childhood again, actually be able to understand their point of view on things that matter to them, understand what those rituals we follow mean, tell them about my views on different things...

I know for a fact that going home will only drive me mad. There isn't much to do there and I don't have many friends left. And this is my life now. But I still wonder if I should chuck it all and go home to be with the ones I love, even if I have trouble expressing it and I am a wilful child around them, more trouble than fun. I know that your thoughts do turn this way when you lose someone, but I still wonder.

And then I think, isn't it shameful that I have lost someone dear and I haven't, cannot even grieve properly? Does it seem disrespectful and somehow lessen their importance to me because I am not shedding tears over losing them.

The tears are there... I only blink them away because they catch me unaware and I do not want to cry around anyone except myself. I walk the streets defiantly, head eld high, daring the world to cross me... and steal a few moments where my head is down and my eyes are focused on the sidewalk. I nearly miss my stop on the tube because I'm so lost in contemplating the turn of events and its corollary meanings. I look into the eyes of a stranger who thanks me for something and I'm surprised to see the genuineness of her smile and the light in her eyes and I wonder if she can see I don't quite reciprocate. And I wonder if she can tell Death keeps me from it. I wonder if people can tell when someone has been touched by death when it's this remote. And yet I cannot comprehend my loss when I am alone. It just feels strange and disconnected.

Aunt once said to me that we remain in debt of the people we meet... and if we do not manage to repay those debts, then we shall be associated with those people again when we are born again. I find that somewhat comforting. Because it means that I shall still be able to be with these people again and give them their due.

Yet I cannot stop wondering if being here now is what I ought to be doing.

I am DewdropDream. And tonight, I am questioning Life.

*Death I implore you. From Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe.

Status Messages

I have such MAD friends really. One look at their status messages and you know. Status messages are great insights into people's personalities really. Samples:

R: jab dil hi toot gaya, ek phone ka kya karen

S (Could dedicate a whole section to this fella): Singa pura bheeg gaya (Has recently moved to S'pore and is rather overwhelmed at the monsoon there)

To err is human, to arrrrr is pirate

B: Ampersands with Attitude (Which I thought was the name of his band till he told me he was being beset by ampersands in the coding he was doing that day :P)

M: If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to you, hunt it down and kill it. (No she isn't scary as she sounds. Not scary at all!)

And then there was the kid brother, wo, upon being urged to change his rather bland status message to something else by a friend, promptly responded by changing his status to 'Something else'.

More to be added. Watch this space!

It's Time For Acceptance Speeches!!!

This one is from La Vida Loca, Rayshma AND Never Mind!!

And truly, it feels like I have found a sorority on blogsphere in these three. And the ones I pass the award on to are:

Rayshma: There's more to us than just the blogs now :)

La Vida Loca: My first kannada-speaking contact on blogsphere and she opened up a whole new world for me!

Never Mind!: She says she doesn't have many BFFs in reality but it would be hard to not like her and wish her for your bff really.

Medha: Simply because we do go back a long way and it all began with me blog-stalking her hehe!

Mahi: She introduced me to narcissism, alcoholism, liberal talk lightening up, being fun and remaining a great person while doing all that. All from her blog. Here's to you girl! Do wish you'd get back to blogging :)

Eve: I'm at a loss for words when it comes to her... but I hope the award says it all for me, from me.

Sree: We began with 'arvoing' and it's been great right since then!

Silvara: I'm just glad to be a part of her little corner of blogsphere (okay maybe not a little corner)

Alwayshappykya: Wish you'd be around more often!!!

Snippetsnscribbles: I'm liking our association and I hope we shall continue for long!

I Love Lucy: Sporadic contact, but am hoping we get to know each other more!

??!: Being steady visitors at each other's space counts I think :)

RWS: Similarly

Flygye: Excuse my sporadic stop-overs at yours, glad to know you, all the same!

Amey: Hasn't once failed to say something amusing and/or profound and I like seeing him around!

Whencutdeep: Taken a temporary hiatus but it's nice having this sunny soul around.


And please do not take it personally if you don't see your name here, only reason I've left it out is because I feel too shy to assume we're friends.




This one is from Rayshma! Much humbled by the award and the little note she wrote saying why I was given the award. The reason I delayed accepting it was because I felt I hadn't really won it given the blog had a rather simple look. Now though, I feel like I have indeed worked for it :) Thanks Rayshma!! I'm going to give it to people who haven't already received it so don't take it as a rejection if your name isn't on here. My awardees are:

Romi: I never fail to laugh when I drop by her blog and her narratives are so heartwarming at the same time!

Alwayshappykya: I love her screen name to begin with. It's just so quirly! And she has a very nice style of writing and isn't afraid to share the most personal of details. Like it all!

Chronicus Skepticus: Hilarious. 'Nuff said.

The next few blogs are ones that really ought to be updated more often but they've got a lot of stuff on them already, having been around for a long time now. And the writing is awesome!! Go back and read their archives, you'll see what I mean. So here's to Medha, Mahima, Ashish and Mukta (See this post of hers especially)!

Say Hello to the American Uttam Dave

Gary Neuman, who has authored The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It and has apparently even been featured on Oprah.

I'm yet to come up with a suitable insult for this man but join me in cursing him all the same after you read this.

As I like to say, a woman can never have too much shit to deal with, can she?

Enraged. Outraged

Some COLOSSAL IDIOT has gone and copied my entire blog description and profile description onto her orkut account and hasn't so much as attributed it to the author – ME.

I am mad beyond reason and justifiably so because somone thought it a great lark to simply lift the fruit of me efforts and shamelessly use it as their own. This is MY space, as are the words that flow on these pages and I spend time and effort writing here... to have all of that simply copied and pasted is not flattering as anyone might be thinking, it's simply disgustingly cheap and it makes me angry. At least have the decency to attribute it to the source you acquired intellectual property from. What kind of unimaginative creature are you anyway? You think you're so freaking clever using those lines there don't you? Well you're not. You're far too dumb to come up with anything by yourself, that's what.

Worry about me hunting you down and making you pay now. Copy-cat LOSER. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Beware of the 21st Century Woman

M and I were having another of our crazy chats and she was complaining that her bf had suddenly been called away to meet another friend. Justifiably annoyed M said:

"saala. because of tt mera bf offline chala gaya. ruk main dekhti hoon S ko abhi... *folds sleeves up and takes the jhaadu in one hand* :P

me: hahahha jhaadu???!!! woman!! you're in the 21st century, try something more sophisticated!

M: wht.. hit him with my hair curler? :P