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Thursday, April 09, 2009

“Matlab-ing me!”

For the longest time, I had been trying to get M — M of the hair-curler fame, M who's mug I like and with whom I compete for the... (ahem!) affection (?!) of a certain cutie — that M, to do a guest post for me, considering how entertaining she is and that we have rather insane conversations usually. So I did. And then she put it off, for the longest time, but surprised me last night by emailing me her post! So, without further delay, here's presenting, M, malai maarke! It also happens to be the very first guest post on this blog!
P.S: M, fantastic post! I hope you'll agree to doing more :D

You know, one of the many good things about having a friend in a completely different time zone from yours is that while you are suffering from lack of sleep, drinking coffee by the litres, burning the damn midnight oil and finishing off your assignment (that is taking AGES to finish) in the lab, she is in another part of the world, sitting behind her pretty office desk, probably getting bored at work, probably drinking (a lot?) of coffee and probably trying to get her work done by time too.

Now where’s the good in that you ask? The good thing, my dear readers, is that she is awake too! When I’m awake and fretting over my assignments, she’s there, just a ping away! Well she kinda has to stay awake unless she wants her boss to fire her ass...buuuuut i’m sure we don’t want that now do we? :P

So anyways, while its late-night-ish here in Perth (where I am), it’s afternoonish there in London (where my ‘matlab-ing’ friend is), and both of us are trying to keep each other awake, being a “friend in need is a friend indeed” et al. Also can I just add- God bless gtalk!!! May God also bless all the offices and the bosses who allow their employees to use gtalk at work! Actually, while we are at it, God bless that MAN in orange polka dot mini dress, with white knee-length stockings, long shiny blonde hair and ballerina shoes on who waltzed into the library and sat at the computer next to mine. Oh, God knew I was having a bad day and desperately needed a good laugh! I kid you not guys, this actually happened just a few days back. You won’t believe the kind of things that happen with me, but then that’s another post for another day.

Coming back to my story- so it was a typical weeknight when I was doing my work in the lab and chatting with Dewdrop; both of us talking about extremely serious, frown-worthy issues like how our lives totally suck, and how we are stuck in a rut day after day and how “great” a gift pms is, things like that..just when I began whining about my assignment. Now my fellow engineers reading this, you must be very familiar with a computer programming language called ‘MATLAB’? This is what happened when I made the mistake of NOT explaining it to The Dewdrop first about what it was.

Me- .......I know how to do ALL the questions for my assignment ..BUT.. there is this one small thing for which i dont know the command for.. and THAT is stopping me from doing ANYTHING AT ALL!

Dewdrop- Eh?? How important is that command to the assignment?

Me- I have to use the programme I need to know the command for it.

Dewdrop- Oh. What software is it?

Me- Matlab. Bohot pakau cheez hai yaar.

Dewdrop- Ohooo. What programme are you using to write your assignment??

Me- Matlab.

Dewdrop- Arrey how are you writing this assignment???

Me (now thinking what’s wrong with her)- Meaning???

Dewdrop- Okay now you’re doing it on purpose. Shooo.

Me- Lol, arrey I don’t know what you mean!

Dewdrop- Shaddup.

(After a few seconds)

Me- Abeyy dhakkannnn

Dewdrop- Tu dhakkan!!! :P

Me- Abey the programme is called MATLAB. As in MAT-LAB!!!!!!!!!! I didn’t mean ‘matlab’ in hindi!!!!

Dewdrop- GOOD LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! M, you did that on purpose!!!!!

Me- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You kept asking what programme I’m using...toh I kept answering your question! Oh my god, I can’t stop laughing!!!

Dewdrop- Abbe teri!!!! You’d have kept going ‘matlab matlab’ all night man.. and as if that’s not enough, you ask ‘meaning?’.........Matlabing me! Sheeeessh. :P

And this is how ladies and gentleman, two mad women, one in London and one in Perth, laughed continuously for a whole fifteen minutes!

That was probably one of the few times I had laughed the hardest! :D

By the way, later on I realised there were cameras all over the computer lab.
Imagine what a scene the lab assistant witnessed when he watched the tape the next morning- an Indian girl wearing an oversized jumper, therefore dressed rather shabbily, staring at her computer screen and laughing like an idiot. The things I do!

PS- Dewdrop, I laugh like crazy even today when I read that chat. It was the funniest thing ever! :D


  1. Anonymous11:02 AM

    u have been added to my blog-roll for quite some time....but its the first time i m commenting at ur space...
    haha, lol...that matlab-ing was quite interesting..mast case of 'lost in translation':D:D

    was wondering doesnt ur friend M blog? this guest post was quite interesting:))

  2. And now there's this woman sitting in her office on a boring work day in India, looking at her computer screen and laughing non-stop.

    LOL! I had no idea Matlab meant anything else but the Hindi matlab!

  3. LOL! Seriously, what an entertanining night that was! :D

    LOVED the begining bit you added. :)
    And thank youuu! Will definitely try to do more of these guest posts cos' we both know how absolutely crazy our conversations get! :D


  4. Dude, I so totally imagined Dewy asking that!!!!

    Also, this has happened to me a few times before, but i think the combination of Dewdrop and coffee makes it more hilarious. :D

  5. hahaha!!!
    i think you need to drink MORE coffee. and eat less of spiked tiramisu! :D
    ever wonder how it's only YOU that can get this confused! HAHAHAHAHAA!!!! :D

  6. That is when voice chat is useful. MATLAB in messenger looks like you are shouting, while saying it out loud clears the mistakes.

    M, malai maarke
    @DDD: Like you are DDD, is M, MMM?

  7. hahahaha...this totally made my day....i too am sitting in my office, looking at the computer screen and laughing non-stop.....

    coz you know why....I actually work at MathWorks, the company that makes MATLAB software ... :)

    hahaha..still can't stop laughing..

  8. @ Wishes galore: I used to blog, but not anymore. Might start blogging again someday. :)

    @ Galadriel: Hahaha I know right!! It was such a riot when she kept asking me "arrey what software...WHAT SOFTWARE?!" LOL! :D

    @ Amey: Hehe its *not* MMM, though I must say M malai marke sounds really good. I might just use it as a blog title when I start blogging again. THEN I can be known as "MMM". :D

  9. LOL!!! :D

    That was precious!
    Needed a good laugh - got it here!

    Thumba thanks! :)

  10. ROFLOL! I loved this. Saat samundar paar hilarious conversation!

  11. hahah I remember using MATLAB at uni as well and having heaps of these convos all the time.

    Good to hear from a fellow 'MATLAB-er' :P

  12. I read the topic of your post and the first thought which crossed my mind was - does this woman know matlab is a software as well? - and then I read the post. Hilarious!

    Did 'M' figure out the command?

  13. LOL, Yes Apoo, I did!
    Though I forgot all about the command for a good half an hour cos I was too busy laughing at Dewdrop! =D

  14. does it happen to you guys too? i mean i came to know what matlab is only 2 or 3 days back (it was in the business section of TOI for some reason). and now it is here...

  15. Hahaha!! Hilarious!

    BTW,Why do you gals have to talk about life being sucky and all ..when you have such 'matlabi' frens across the globe to laugh with? :D Hehehe.

  16. Anonymous4:26 AM

    I deciphered what you meant before reading the conversation though... Yay!

    Matlab DOES seem confusing! Thankfully, I don't seem to have to learn it.

    Awesome post... fun read :D

  17. I hated using that damn MATLAB. This post was fun though :)

  18. get back, woman. me miss ya!

  19. omg I rem using MATLAB at Uni!!!! LOL DDD too funny!


  20. Wishes Galore: hey you! Here's welcoming you officially, though I did notice that I had a new 'follower' :) And yes, lost in translation is the term for this fiasco here! I've been urging M to get back to blogging, hopefully she will, very soon!

    D: Gave you a laugh, did we? :D Glad! And I swear I had no ides it meant anything else either... even in spite of having friends who are (almost all) engineers!

    M: God, I laugh everytime I see this conversation! Or think of it! :D And watch out coz you're going to be badgered with guest post requests all the time! :D

    Galadriel: Dude! Cmon! HOW was I supposed to know! Or why! :D

    Rayshma: No no no!!! No more coffee, back on tea and this was muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch before spiked tiramisu happened. And, hello! I wasn't confused, can't help it if my thoughts run in diverese directions simultaneously, can I?!

    Amey: M, you see, has an allergy to voicechats and phonecalls. So we've taken to typing wholeheartedly. Also, if she'd said MATLAB I might still have figured it out. But she ignored syntaxes and the conversation is pasted exactly as it happend... so ya see... confusion and hilarity were bound to ensue! And looks like she likes the idea of M, malai maarke!

    Atul: No way!!! Seriously?! hahahahahaha!!! That makes it funnier then... so how'd you end up reading this? Haven't seen you here before

    Pixie: Awww, why so serious la? Cheer up! Hug :)

    Purnima: Hehe, yeah and this is just a tiny sample :D

    Silvara: Haha!! I totally blame it on my engineer friends... they gimme all kinds of rubbish info and leave this out! Not fair!

    Apoo: I did not, but I do now. Pehle hi bolna tha na!

    Flygye: hell yeah it happens!

    AlwaysHappyKya: :D Oh the 'life sucks' bit is a prelude to most hilarious conversations actually... a sin qua non of sorts :D

    Unsungpsalm: :D Clever you!

    Ashish: Courtesy M! :D Thing is, I have been the unwitting witness to many a typical engineers meet conversation but not ONE made ANY mention of MATLAB. So not fair I tell ya!

    Catty: Awww... I'm back!! See!!

    Keshi: You too!! OMG!! hahaha!!! :D

  21. M, malai marke sounds like some radio chat show with RJ "M". :D

    She can probably talk about the misunderstandings caused by not using proper syntax and grammar on the show ;)

  22. M needs to get back to blogging! bully her, gurl! :D

  23. Amey: Hehe, it's also very cool for a blog name :D And knowing her she'll probably use this conversation as an example of syntax errors :P

    Catty: It took me around 6 months to get her to write this piece. Something tells me she'll take much longer to get back to blogging... but maybe I can persuade her to do posts more often here :D

  24. LOL...Loved this. It brought back memories from many such Matlab moments in coll few years back... :-)...

  25. u'll get certificate ONLY if you convince her.
    now will u get back and post pics of scotland or u want me to get to london and give u a rapta?!

  26. Yaar Rayshma, I will join you in London too to give Dewdrop a rapta.

    Natak dekh na iska!

  27. Ersa: Hey Ersa, welcome to my blog! :) Glad you enjoyed reading that!

    Catty: *commence Amisha Patel imitation* Rapta!! haye KITNA romantic word ai... tumne kahan se seekha?! *end* :P

    And btw, insider info, I DID convince her... mission successful. Do mera certificate!

    M: Oye! You're not allowed to gang up on me! And what natak huh?! :D

  28. Do mera certificate! She will have to "make" your certificate. Or possible "give" it. How can you "do" a certificate?

    Sorry, couldn't help it. No new posts to comment on, you see ;)

  29. 'Do' would be the hindi waala do... how do you spell it if it's being written in angrejhee? :D No new posts because I am being slowly killed by work, my brains cells specially. Would you do a guest post? :D

  30. Well, I got that, once I got past that "do" and onto "mera". But given the context of the post, couldn't help it. ;)

    As for writing guest posts, have you seen my blog lately? Come to think of it, you haven't.

  31. Hee hee... lame as it sounds, that is how busy I am. But that invite to do a guest post is open anytime you want to take it up!