Name-calling

What did the cloth say to the mordant when it saw that the dyeing hadn't been done properly?

"You BLEACH!"

:P

Does my face look like a canavas for modern art?

I don't get it. I just don't.

WHAT is with the stupid trend of people being smeared with cake on their birthdays? Just ... WHAT! I'd like to know which moron came up with this stupid idea and thought it great.

Pay attention. Cake is FOOD. it's meant to be eaten. You know? Open that hatch, throw it in, chew, swallow.

NOT plaster it on someone's effing FACE. That is DISGUSTING. And no, it's not funny. Not at all. Do not tell me it's meant in fun, playing with food and wasting it is not fun... are you out of your bloody mind?!

Lost in Regency England

*Peers groggily from under her duvet and seeing people milling around looking at her and then their watches, let's out a groan*


Whiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeee... I'm so tired! It hurts to think :( I wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppp.


But now that I'm here anyway, let's have a chat


*Brings out tea-cups and plates of snacks and hosts impromptu tea-party imagining it's the one which the Mad Hatter attended. Wait, maybe SHE is the Mad Hatter... she's dressed in PJs and a strange night-cap.*


The night-cap and tea-party being a hangover from too much Regency-England novel reading. In the last two weeks I've finished Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict, Cotillion and Her Royal Spyness and enjoyed them all thoroughly. And neither of them would actually qualify as chick-lit in my humble opinion. They're light reading... the last two at least. Her Royal Spyness is a murder mystery with an unlikely female detective and a very amusing host of characters... I'm going to get the next one in the series soon. Cotllion was typical Georgette Heyer ... it was the first Heyer I'd ever read and it was great going back to it.


'Confessions ... ' on the other hand ... it sounded like chick-lit and it has a cover that it VERY chick-lit. It started off okay ... this chick wakes up and finds herself in Jane Austen's England and what follows is a slightly hilarious account of her adventures as an anachronism while having to figure out how to live the life of the woman wh'd body she is inhabiting. She's trying to find a way of getting back to her own world and time but the book slowly veers off-track and there is much philosophical musing about life, love, the place of women in society and such... she even meets Jane Austen herself and manages to freak her out! I thought the book was bit heavy, to be honest and tried to be many things but failed to be any. But as my boss pointed out, that is a feature of many time-travel works... he also put me onto 'Lost in Austen' ... I have something new to watch now!


Okay I almsot deleted this post because I thought it was such utter rubbish... but I started watching 'Lost in Austen' and our heroine (Amanda Price) just announced to Kitty Bennett that the strange tunic she had one with breeches (your everyday jeans and top attire now) is an Otter Hunting Kit. Priceless!

“Matlab-ing me!”

For the longest time, I had been trying to get M — M of the hair-curler fame, M who's mug I like and with whom I compete for the... (ahem!) affection (?!) of a certain cutie — that M, to do a guest post for me, considering how entertaining she is and that we have rather insane conversations usually. So I did. And then she put it off, for the longest time, but surprised me last night by emailing me her post! So, without further delay, here's presenting, M, malai maarke! It also happens to be the very first guest post on this blog!
P.S: M, fantastic post! I hope you'll agree to doing more :D

You know, one of the many good things about having a friend in a completely different time zone from yours is that while you are suffering from lack of sleep, drinking coffee by the litres, burning the damn midnight oil and finishing off your assignment (that is taking AGES to finish) in the lab, she is in another part of the world, sitting behind her pretty office desk, probably getting bored at work, probably drinking (a lot?) of coffee and probably trying to get her work done by time too.

Now where’s the good in that you ask? The good thing, my dear readers, is that she is awake too! When I’m awake and fretting over my assignments, she’s there, just a ping away! Well she kinda has to stay awake unless she wants her boss to fire her ass...buuuuut i’m sure we don’t want that now do we? :P

So anyways, while its late-night-ish here in Perth (where I am), it’s afternoonish there in London (where my ‘matlab-ing’ friend is), and both of us are trying to keep each other awake, being a “friend in need is a friend indeed” et al. Also can I just add- God bless gtalk!!! May God also bless all the offices and the bosses who allow their employees to use gtalk at work! Actually, while we are at it, God bless that MAN in orange polka dot mini dress, with white knee-length stockings, long shiny blonde hair and ballerina shoes on who waltzed into the library and sat at the computer next to mine. Oh, God knew I was having a bad day and desperately needed a good laugh! I kid you not guys, this actually happened just a few days back. You won’t believe the kind of things that happen with me, but then that’s another post for another day.

Coming back to my story- so it was a typical weeknight when I was doing my work in the lab and chatting with Dewdrop; both of us talking about extremely serious, frown-worthy issues like how our lives totally suck, and how we are stuck in a rut day after day and how “great” a gift pms is, things like that..just when I began whining about my assignment. Now my fellow engineers reading this, you must be very familiar with a computer programming language called ‘MATLAB’? This is what happened when I made the mistake of NOT explaining it to The Dewdrop first about what it was.

Me- .......I know how to do ALL the questions for my assignment ..BUT.. there is this one small thing for which i dont know the command for.. and THAT is stopping me from doing ANYTHING AT ALL!

Dewdrop- Eh?? How important is that command to the assignment?

Me- I have to use the programme na..so I need to know the command for it.

Dewdrop- Oh. What software is it?

Me- Matlab. Bohot pakau cheez hai yaar.

Dewdrop- Ohooo. What programme are you using to write your assignment??

Me- Matlab.

Dewdrop- Arrey how are you writing this assignment???

Me (now thinking what’s wrong with her)- Meaning???

Dewdrop- Okay now you’re doing it on purpose. Shooo.

Me- Lol, arrey I don’t know what you mean!

Dewdrop- Shaddup.

(After a few seconds)

Me- Abeyy dhakkannnn

Dewdrop- Tu dhakkan!!! :P

Me- Abey the programme is called MATLAB. As in MAT-LAB!!!!!!!!!! I didn’t mean ‘matlab’ in hindi!!!!

Dewdrop- GOOD LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! M, you did that on purpose!!!!!

Me- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You kept asking what programme I’m using...toh I kept answering your question! Oh my god, I can’t stop laughing!!!

Dewdrop- Abbe teri!!!! You’d have kept going ‘matlab matlab’ all night man.. and as if that’s not enough, you ask ‘meaning?’.........Matlabing me! Sheeeessh. :P

And this is how ladies and gentleman, two mad women, one in London and one in Perth, laughed continuously for a whole fifteen minutes!

That was probably one of the few times I had laughed the hardest! :D

By the way, later on I realised there were cameras all over the computer lab.
Imagine what a scene the lab assistant witnessed when he watched the tape the next morning- an Indian girl wearing an oversized jumper, therefore dressed rather shabbily, staring at her computer screen and laughing like an idiot. The things I do!

PS- Dewdrop, I laugh like crazy even today when I read that chat. It was the funniest thing ever! :D

Alarm

He awoke from deep slumber. Something had disturbed him. Groggy and in the state between sleep and wakefulness, his brain managed to convince itself that sleep was the way go. And in the split second before sleep was actually attained, whatever woke him up returned.

A sound. That was what it had been.

He was awake now, heart hammering away, head throbbing, panic sending cold waves all over his body. He kept his eyes closed.

It was getting louder now. He could sense the ground thumping beneath him. He was afraid.

Louder still.

He began to tremble. Eyes squeezed shut and terrified into immobility, all he could do was listen as it came nearer and nearer and nearer. Heavy, hard-hitting, thunderous. It sounded like a stampede. Or a herd of elephants. Stampeding elephants. Much louder.

What was he going to do? He could get trodden on by these creatures and be dead in no time! And him so young! He did not want to die! There was so much he wanted to do, so many things not done yet! If he did get out of this okay, he would do it all. He would travel the world! Work harder! Take up a hobby! He would be a better, sensitive, caring, giving person. He would be a loving son and brother. He would not be such a pain-in-the-arse boyfriend. He would propose to her the very next day! Have a big wedding! A wonderful honeymoon! Have kids! Give to charity. Do social work. In fact, the first thing he'd do if he got out alive was visit god in his house and pray and show his gratefulness.

Rumbling like frightening thunder, the sound was upon him now. No use. He'd be dead any second now. He opened his mouth to scream...

The rush of commuters from the first train of the day walked out of the station without sparing a second glance for the drunk young man lying in a heap outside the station moaning softly.

One Night in Every Call Centre

This is not a book review.
This is more an enthusiastic recommendation urging you to buy the book NOW. You know, like one of those things one of your friends might tell you to do: "Oh you MUST!!! It's so brilliant!! Go get it NOW!!! Now, now, now, now!!!!"

Let me tell you about the book! It's a bit like reading Chicken Soup for the Soul — which is to say, it's a bunch of short stories narrating incidents. But there the similarity ends. There's no mushy, fluffy stuff in there. Instead, in a very entertaining and bantering manner, you're pulled right into the heart of the industry, among its many faceless members and given a peek at everything there is to be seen, everything you'd care to see. An almost voyeuristic peek. It's probably like that bit of Harry Potter when he's sucked into a memory and can see and hear everything and learn much, but without ever registering his presence.

Funny stories, ones that will leave you taken-aback, ones that will make you re-think your attitude to the industry — stories aplenty to keep you amused and hooked. I had several instances of 'I really should sleep, but, okay, just ONE more story and I'll shut this' happen... only to end with me reading more than just one more story and going to work sleep-deprived and strangely satisfied for not having put the book down sooner.

And the cover!!! How can you not love it!!! It's just SO perfect!!! The graphics, the design, fonts used, colours ... I would totally pick this book solely on the basis of its cover.

More on the book here.

Do get a copy, I guarantee your enjoying it.

No I'm not getting paid to advertise it, but let's just say I have a vested interest ;)

Weariness-induced-vacuouness-inspired-fluff

Marshmallows... mmmmmmmmmmmm. I love them. Soft and squishy and just sweet enough. If they were a gender stereotype they'd be girls. I wonder if that's why none of my brothers took to them as I did. In fact, I haven't met any men who like marshmallows. Or at least confess to liking them. Would I want to meet them? Maybe not. I wouldn't have to share then :

Came home from work dog-tired and not wanting to cook. Which is saying something because some evenings I come home and spend a great deal of time cooking. Today all I did was sit like a lump and wish wistfully that a plate of food, good tasty food, would appear before me by magic. I wouldn't even have minded if a pair of hands had brought it to me. Instead, I tortured myself by going through the recipes section on the Guardian and drooling with tired eyes while my tummy sent up feeble protests at such inhumanity. I was obliged to give it some pasta finally to shut it up.

The Magnolias are in bloom! And Cherry Blossoms! They look so pretty! Soon the Roses will be here, vibrant, glossy-petalled, huge.

The boss recommends, and I recommend in turn, Marillion! I really loved their sound, go listen to them!

Surely it's an omen

That the g20 talks are happening on April Fool's Day?

I hear that this one day is costing taxpayers 21 million pounds. I'm not happy with my hard earned money being squandered on people who've mucked up the way they have. Hmpfh. Hopefully ze economy shall steady soon.

One Evening

"Look at what you've done! It's done for!!!! I had it all going so perfectly and now that's gone! GONE! Can't have it back now. Oh dear god!"

She sat there looking at him calmly while he burst out like that, studying him, not feeling indignant, defensive or angry in the least. For the briefest moment she tried to imagine what it was like for him and then gave up because it was out of the reach of her fathoming, of even her rather ample imaginative and cognitive powers.

While he stood there, his face a mix of equal parts of exasperation, panic, loss, anxiety, bewilderment, amazement and wonder.

Still looking over at him calmly, she said "Yes."

"What's that?" he asked her unable to at once apprehend. And then went from looking puzzled to rather relieved to sheepish and finally embarassed as he said "Sorry dear, it came to me all at once and I guess it still hasn't quite sunk in but I assure you, I fully intended to ask you properly. Will you do me the honour of marrying me?"

Not too long later.

She: "We really should get going or we'll be late."

He: "Oh yeah. What did you say we were going to see, again?"

"The Taming of the Shrew". Heh

The Tale of Genji — The Beginning

Right then, by popular demand.

For actual information on the book and its publication, go here.

There are of course other editions and versions... and given how they all seem to be translations or interpretations, they will have rather major differences between them. I picked up this one because it seemed the longest, had been around for a while, appeared to be keeping to the original better than the older translation by Waley and just somehow more appealing than the other long translation published by Penguin. Its hardback edition versus the paperback by Penguin also tilted decision in its favour.

I did read the introduction (I know, how many people do that really?! But this is what working in publishing does to you. You really do get hooked to the smallest thing about books) — I shall be referring to the introduction in between because it gives an overlay of the book and I feel it would be better to refer to it in relevant places than finish it off at once. Oh btw, the introduction is a very well-written one. Next they have Note on Topography, Note on the Text, Select Bibliography followed by the Chronology.

I loved how they've done the layout for the Chronology. They've spread it across two pages and alongside the date, they have a section for Author's Life, then a Literary Context and finally a Historical Events section. They've used small caps for the headings and it is very appealing to the eye. The one thing that puzzles me is, this is the second instance I have seen of the beginning of things being measured against the spread of Islam. As in, they take the spread of Islam as the starting point of anything... can anyone throw any light on this? Why is it that important? Wasn't Hinduism in existence long before that?

In the 50 pages that I have finished, I have covered two chapters (I'm taking this slowly because this is a book that demands to be read at ease, at leisure. It's literature, to be savoured. Not a thriller to be finished soon as you can so you know the end).

The basic premise is that this is a book about the life of Genji, who is a prince by birth but leads the life of a commoner. The first chapter describes how his father, the emperor is so deeply in love with one of the women at his court, someone not of a very high rank, that he comes dangerously close to throwing off his imperial status and duties for her sake. The lady meanwhile suffers much at the hands of the other courtiers for being so favoured. In all fairness, she isn't a woman who uses her wiles to attract the attention of the emperor but someone very virtuous and beautiful and deserving of such devotion — sadly only not in a position that would silence her adversaries. She has a son by the emperor but slowly falls victim to an illness that makes it very difficult for her to perform her duties at court and removes to her mother's house, away from the court. After a while she succumbs to her illness and the emperor is left heart broken and grieving.

The boy meantime, is being raised by his grandmother and when the emperor recovers somewhat from his loss, he begs with the lady to send his son to court so that he may give the child the advantages an emperor is capable of and because having the son near him alleviates his pain in some measure. And thus our hero comes to live at the court. Being the son of a woman thus despised, one would expect him to be shunned by one and all. But being possessed of a countenance so pleasing and charming, he is much adored by everyone present. The empress, mother to the heir apparent, too softens somewhat on encountering this beautiful child, setting aside her worries about the child usurping her son's position as heir apparent.

Meanwhile, the emperor summons to court the relation of another woman at court who is said to very closely resemble the love he lost. Genji takes to her immediately — one cannot say if this is due to her countenance or because she reminds him of his dead mother. Yearning to be near her always, Genji has to eventually learn that there cannot exist free interaction between them as he grows up and she is obliged to use the screen used for conducting meetings between members of opposite sexes.

As he grows older, Genji's initiation ceremony is performed by the emperor with much splendour, just as if it were the heir apparents. And yet, realising that Genji cannot be promised the life of someone born nobly, the emperor decides to make him a commoner and appoint him at the court, and hus gives him the name 'Genji'.

Genji's somewhat high standing prompts his marital alliance with the daughter of the Minster of the Right. However, as his bride is older than him and he does not have an evident connection to her, this leads to him spending much time at court and, if the rumours are to be believed, having as many affairs as he can be bothered to.

The proof of his infidelity is presented when Genji goes to stay at the house of a court official later and seduced the young step-mother of the official while there. And, the next night, when she refuses his advances, her younger brother.

There is a dialogue between Genji, his brother-in-law and two lesser court appointees in the chapter detaling the kinds of women there are, the perfect woman, and why the said women do not meet the requirement for being the perfect women. A dialogue that would get the goat of feminists all over for being a rather condescending and shallow appraisal of women in those times.

The thing that I found somewhat odd about the period spoken about here is that everyone seemed to be having affairs with everyone else rather openly. Or rather, supposedly secretly. The women seem to be decorative pieces, even when serving at the court and having duties. Also, every character seems rather young. Age referred to in the work is the number of years that the person has seen rather than the actual period of twelve months that is counted as a year. So a child that is said to be of three years is perhaps actually of the age of 18 months or two years.

In the rather short space of two chapters, we see the transformation in the hero that the introduction forewarns us about. Genji goes from being the perfect young protagonist possessing all the virtues imaginable, to a questioning young adult in whose character the cracks are beginning to appear.

What do YOU think of it, thus far?